Good News

The good news is that we can always regulate and re regulate and re regulate again. The other good news is that we get better at it with practice.

The bad news is that we will never stop becoming dis regulated. Life will always find ways to knock us out of balance. Maybe that’s part of our growth.

I think having this understanding has liberated me. Before, I was trying to fix myself into a person who was always happy, I thought if I could just achieve this or that, and arrive, I didn’t want or know to accept a bumpy life path, I didn’t know I was chasing an impossible thing, but the chase was incredibly discouraging.

I may have spent a huge amount of time comparing my inner faulty self with other people’s outward appearances. Social media makes this too easy.

There’s another dangerous notion that I had. If I didn’t stay happy and keep my vibration high enough, the things I wanted would be kept from me. I wouldn’t be able to ‘attract’ anything good if i didn’t constantly flow along in a happy state. In other words, if circumstances aren’t what you’d like them to be, it’s your fault. I do agree that when I am in a calm, confident regulated state, things do feel easier. I can see things in a more positive hopeful light. My mind will sift and sort and see good just as when I’m upset I’ll see more reasons to be upset. At the end of the day, it just doesn’t help to get down on my already down self for getting triggered and failing to be ‘happy’.

If, instead, I just see that I’m in a dis regulated state, and take some steps toward regulating, I can help the process along. Things get clearer quicker and so much easier. Blaming my off balance self for failing out of balance and then being out of balance (and blaming everyone and everything that pushed me out) is lame. It slows down moving through it and makes me just feel worse.

It has never helped to believe that if I just get X then I’ll be happy. Similarly believing that I have to be happy without X in order to attract X into my life. X doesn’t equal the answer. X isn’t the answer. If you don’t believe me look at the people who have your X. They get disregulaed. Good examples are celebrities who have what looks like everything on anyone’s happy making list.

They’re slim, beautiful, rich and successful. They have fun things to do with tons of friends, perfect spouses, darling children. Giant homes, several cars, etc etc How could they ever be unhappy? If having X was the answer they’d be shining examples of happiness. There seems to be a lot of drug and alcohol related dying in the celebrity life world and plenty of drama.

I’m just saying there is no one answer. The best anyone can do is to spend more time in a regulated state. With or without X, getting better at regulating is a good thing. And it’s good news that we can.

I’ve learned that it’s really more about my feelings in any moment. When I’m calm and regulated, I can experience my circumstances differently than when I’m not. Just knowing I have ability to regulate my self into a better feeling state, is huge.