How are you feeling right now?
I just drove from the coast of California to the coast of Connecticut. It took eight days. We arrived yesterday., so I’m waking up to nothing familiar.
My husband asked me the same question.
I laughed, but…
How AM I feeling?
I feel like a stranger in a strange land. I may have felt more at home in Africa. Or more myself, maybe. There is a lot to process at this point. I feel a little like I did on the first day of school after a move to a new city in a new country. I do love the feeling of adventure, but it’s sometimes hard for me to tell the difference between fear and excitement. I might be feeling both.
I often feel my feelings in my stomach. It’s not surprising that my stomach is unsettled and queasy.
We took a little drive and I saw a cute yoga studio. I saw a cute beach town. I could see myself happily living in a town like that, walking to yoga, maybe even working there.
This is the most hopeful I’ve felt and I really like feeling hopeful. Anticipating something I can look forward to, is nice. I have lowered my expectations for everything at this point. My aim is to keep myself as regulated as I can. Transitions are not terrible, some are even fun. Uh. I’m open to possibilities…
A nice cup of tea, a lovely morning drive, the hope of a yoga community. (again I am not expecting much), G said California is very unique. I get that. Last time I moved away from what felt like my mother ship, I never really acclimated. I was an awkward teen then, and in no way self aware.
This begins a whole journey for me. Who am I again? How do I feel? Discombobulated. Fearful, and in a big part part undecided.
I don’t know!
Maybe a little excited and adventurous. Mostly, just undecided. I think I need a day or two to figure it out, but thanks for asking!
Peace Kit 