this one!

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

I’m going to choose self-esteem. It’s has a hyphen but/so I’m calling it one word.

I spent too much time thinking about, worrying about, being told that I had bad or low self-esteem. I seriously came to despise this concept. Can I suggest that maybe this was the opposite of helpful?

Okay, I accept that my upbringing was less than supportive. I grew up with an inaccurate image of myself. I learned to behave as if I had less value than everyone else. I may have thought that I even believed it, but there was always an internal voice that wasn’t buying it.

At some point I decided to put more emphasis on that voice and less on the others. I had to work at it. I still do. It’s a practice, but a worthwhile one for sure.

Again it’s about the power to choose. I get to decide what image I want to have of myself. I used to think it was about truth, but as I learned to separate facts from opinions. I came to understand that opinions are not factual. Mine are every bit as valid as anyone else’s. I get to choose my own if I like.

It’s not a fact that I have low self esteem. I may have behaved in ways that might have caused others to think that. I have behaved in many different ways and caused plenty of speculation about who I am or what I’m about.

The term ‘self-esteem’ seems out dated. I am going to retire it from my vocabulary. I’ll be replacing it with calm confidence and a regulated state.

It won’t be missed.