Oh ok

Hi friends!

On this rainy indoor day I have decided to talk about the art of housekeeping.

I have been romanticizing domestic godliness for as long as I can remember. Mrs.Tiggy-Winkle, the hedgehog laundress was an odd idol, but what can I say?

Sarah Ban Breathnach wrote her famous pink book ‘Simple Abundance’ on and around this topic. She referenced many literary passages that had a big impact on me. Who needed Pinterest? I was inspired to work hard on my efforts to contribute domestically to better my family’s life. Her seasonal, literature-inspired chapters made it all sound super fun.

My mother was easily a domestic goddess. She excelled at ironing, cleaning, organizing and maintaining a household. She was the gold standard in this genre. Until, well, G’s mom could steal her crown, only because she does it all so happily. She truly rivals Snow White in this department.

Did you know wolves can’t be domesticated? You can hand raise them from birth, even motherless they grow into wild creatures who don’t make man their pack leader. Our pet dogs care deeply about pleasing us, wolf pups don’t know how to care about that. They will knock over the fridge and ransack your house because they are born and remain, wild.

The first chapter of ‘Untamed’ by Glennon Doyle describes a zoo cheetah trained to run after a stuffed animal for a crowd . (she paid extra to see this spectacle). The author describes so perfectly how the cheetah returns to its wild self after the show is over. Some readers resonated with this metaphor. For me it explained a lot.

I was trained. I had examples, I cared. I wanted to please and comply, I was motivated. I had every reason and privilege and incentive to learn. How did I not become tamed? How did I grow up so feral? I honestly can’t say.

Don’t ask me if the grass needs mowing. I can’t tell. Keeping things up is not something I have an aptitude for. I load dishwashers wrong, set the table incorrectly, clean floors and do laundry in utter randomness. I never follow recipes. I don’t plan menus unless it’s for a party. I don’t mind these tasks and actually adore utter cleanliness (thanks mom!) I appreciate good gardeners and quality housekeeping services, I even make chore doing fun when its up to me.

I think it might be the routine part that I have trouble with. Just a theory. I love a whim. I love chaos and thrive in it. I love order too! I love the dance between them. I crave differentness. I am equally fascinated and stumped by regularity. It’s taken me years to understand this about myself.

I’ve always been a square peg adrift, in a sea of round pegs in round holes. It took me years to look for square holes. Why did I think I could change who I was?

My new environment has me revisiting my old quest to change, only now I see the humor and folly in the whole concept.

‘Peaceful Hearts’ I originally titled ‘Wild Hearts’. I had yet to read about the cheetah, but I likely always knew (without wanting to know) about my inherent wildness. Today, it’s not about liking or embracing this, it’s about being true to myself. It comes down to inner integrity. This girl has to be herself no matter how the table is supposed to be set.

Knowing and pondering this is regulating.