Deeper thoughts?

Do I know myself well enough?

A little inspiration to get clearer

We are listening to Paul Chek as we drive to a new coffee place in a town called Old Saybrook. Paul is talking about knowing ourselves. Did you guess that?

He and the guy he’s interviewing (Jerry something) are trading stories about when they stopped living a corporate driven life and started doing their careers from a more soul centered perspective. It seems that between the prompt today and this podcast, I’m getting a little nod to keep going.

Is how I’m interpreting my morning.

More unpredicted rain. I think this is a thing.

I don’t really mind rain if I’m dressed for it. The weather people are sort of funny. They can’t hide their own shock and dismay first thing in the morning. They are as close to saying : “This is terrible! It’s not going to let up! It’s going to pour ALL freaking day!” as any news people I’ve ever heard. Next time this happens I’ll include a direct quote. Really it appears to be most people’s general feeling, which I find interesting since rain and weather are, from what I see, part of living in New England?

Enough about the rain.

I just got up and moved from the comfortable chairs to a quiet work area so I wouldn’t be distracted. Yet, another loud talker has just. joined this previously quiet table. If l wasn’t trying to think, I might be entertained.

Context and ratio are important to me. I’ve said this before, good aesthetics make me happy. The opposite makes me a little anxious. Distracted is a good word.. This other loud talker has switched to an embarrassing topic, her voice has dropped. Oh wait back to things she likes us to know. (I’m guessing based on her decibel). Now something has burned in the kitchen. The smell of burn mixed with cinnamon fills the whole coffee shop.

I am soooo distracted! G is happily tuning out all of it. His super power. I’m usually entertained, but here I was hoping to have some deep thoughts.

I feel like this time away from home (CA), is going to help me know myself better.

I like that I’m less worried about being myself. I still want to be respectful, but I’m not as influenced by the idea that what everyone else’s is doing is correct and what I’m doing is incorrect, or even just inferior by comparison. As a human, my comparison driven mind wants to kick in, but I seem to have turned a corner with those old ‘Im wrong’ beliefs.

I prefer my way. I’m used to it. I love my own ideas. I love my taste. Paul Chek says we are the only ones who we will ever really know… He suggests that we need to let go of the things that we think are our faults, and find a way to love ourself.

I’m all for this, but I didn’t grow up knowing how. Learning to pay attention. Slowing down and spending moments not resisting my own soul is pretty important. Just another way to care about my personal regulated state. I’m all about this. It’s why I’m here.