Considering expenses

Investing in me

The answer to this prompt, for me anyway, is not a single purchase.

I think spending money has all kinds of strings attached to it. Good memories, bad memories, pride, regret and everything in between. It reminds me of asking about a favorite diet someone went on in some past year. Success perhaps? How does it matter now? Oh but it does…

Remember that one hand bag? It was never about the hand bag or the set of pots and pans, or the necklace or the concert ticket or whatever one item. Would we buy it again? Do we remember with joy? With good or bad reasons ? With remorse? I hope no remorse.

I think spending money on ourselves can bring up different feelings for different people. Truly, I feel like it’s a good barometer. How ARE we feeling about ourselves in whatever moment? I used to never spend on myself. I got so much joy from buying things for my kids or family and besides, spending used to need so much more justifying in those days. That was a different me.

Now, I do give to myself, I like to, I don’t want to over spend or over burden myself with stuff, but I love what I buy for me. It’s interesting, that when I was almost never buying anything for myself, I don’t remember most of the things I bought for others, but I do remember the things I went to bat for for myself. The armoire I put on lay away. The pictures I had matted and framed. I loved those things and got years of joy from them.

Yesterday G bought me this antique vintage bowl. I would have said no. I don’t need a bowl right now. It’s frivolous and silly. What would his parents think? It’s big and chunky and maybe not universally beautiful, It’s completely impractical and wrong for our life. Yet the moment I spotted it, my heart skipped a beat. It had a Christmas baking energy that made me want to rise cardamom bread in it or stir molasses into ginger cookie dough. Or or or…

Christmas is a little ways off. Planning for it is impossible at this point. With so many variables, and so little control, who can say if there will be any baking for me this year. Likely not and definitely not in my beautiful new bowl. No festive Christmas salad either (I promise, it would be Pinterest worthy with toasted pecans and pomegranate seeds complimenting its aged green color) Salad isn’t anyone’s thing here, I get it, but oh my oh my

My bowl!

The feeling of receiving this bowl at that moment was priceless. Unexpected, utter happiness. Can a bowl bring joy? Can any purchase? Uh YES! Absolutely. Can you fix things with a purchase? I can’t answer that, but I will say joy CAN come from a thing. So never feel guilty for shelling out some cash for something you know will bring you joy and happiness. It might be fleeting, but it might just be completely worth it!

I am feeling joy thinking about my green bowl right now!

G also bought me three hand made vintage ornaments. I did cry. Yesterday was Christmas and my birthday and one long Hallmark movie/ Gilmore Girls special rolled into one. We hunted for aged wood, we visited our new favorite bakery, we raked leaves and walked by the water at sunset. We cooked together and watched my favorite Italian cooking show. (the guys plays opera! My favorite operas seem to be his as well) Seriously unexpected utter joy. I adore my new bowl. I hope you all love your expensive purchase memories as much as I will be loving this one!