Polyvagal nerve and other hopeful science

I’m jetting west toward my family in CA. It’s been nearly a full day of travel already.

I still have most of six hours to go, five hours in, I’ve been entertaining myself by reading samples of books I might like to one day read.

I love this option on iBooks. I have several vagus nerve, parasympathetic scientisticy choices as well as trauma regulation research choices also. This subject interests me because it’s a hopeful topic.

As they learn more about regulating a nervous system, there are more and more answers. They are finding that trauma can be met with helpful, productive responses. By understanding the bigger picture, the more whole picture, by understanding that positive interactions can have a hand in regulation, and that giving adults ways to regulate will help them help children to regulate also. It’s good news because traumas will not stop happening, traumas have happened, but research has shown that with knowledge and understanding, no one has to stay in a dysregulated state.

I’ve heard the tough-guy-tough-love-don’t-address the subject approach. I get it. It’s a painful topic. It’s also a big issue, maybe too big and too complicated to digest. Even so, I feel like its good to break it into small portions so we can begin to turn the tide. It might be good to shine some light and unbury some things. It may be that we ourselves are in need of some self love, some inner compassion, some advancements in our own ability to self regulate. (Me me and me)

I’m glad this subject is being normalized lately. The blame of yesteryear is slowly giving way to compassion. It’s no secret that trauma is often multi generational. Many people were parented by ill-parented parents. Some are doing their best to parent right now. No one needs to point fingers or blame. Parenting is maybe the hardest job in the world. Tools, self love, regulation practices, community involvement, kindness, compassion, understanding by teachers, other students, parents and community members can absolutely turn the tide for anyone on the other side of trauma.

It’s a topic dear to my heart because I’ve recently realized that I need these tools. I need to continually regulate and re regulate, I hadn’t understood until recently that for years I’ve been a student of this. I was searching for a permanent solution, but somehow my realization of the impermanence of states has opened up a greater understanding and a more hopeful knowledge of the headway that can be made. Even more lovely is that as we regulate ourselves we can’t help but be regulating for others. It’s a gift inside a gift.

I want to always help make things better. I love knowing that as I make things better for me, I might make things better for you too (and I hope for as many others as possible). It helps me to know that going in and out of a regulated state is what we do and that we actually have a little power over it.

I wrote this post for me today. Sometimes it’s helpful for me to remember what my breathing books are really about and why they feel important.