What are your biggest challenges?
My challenges change. It seems like as soon as I figure one out, something else becomes a challenge. Is this just me?
My biggest challenge lately, is probably this trip. I am having some nice moments with the kids for sure, but oh my. Peace and easy going ness are being tested randomly and often! I am tired from lack of sleep and probably the time difference. Maybe I haven’t caught up from the epic night of travel delays.
I am living without knowing the plan from one day to the next. Everything is contingent on so many variables and people. Living moment to moment is what we are all doing, it’s just that I’m really feeling my lack of control in real time. Today I found out that the 6th was not a Sunday and that threw yet another monkey wrench into my already non plan plan.
Luckily, train tickets can be cancelled. No fees were incurred. Eating helps ground me. I do get to see my other son. Th e kids are fun, G is taking it all in stride. (I’m not winning any awards for my good attitude), yet I’m pretty sure it’s all going to work out perfectly and so far has. wheew!
If you could read my mind, you would be watching my thoughts bounce in every direction. When I’m lying in bed, I’m trying to list things I’m grateful for while fending off thoughts of worry and panic.
Is this anxiety? I don’t think so. When I traveled to Kenya, I was not in control of anything. I was with a group of twenty some people and someone else was in charge. Things did not always go smoothly, but I had no choice but to roll with it. There came a moment when I had a big choice to make which did segment me off, affecting everything. I made up my mind in a moment and it ( though stressful at times) turned out to be amazing. This is travel. This is life concentrated into quickly changing moments. This, I am reminding myself, is exciting. This is what being outside a rut feels like.
Who said ‘life is a daring adventure or nothing at all?‘ I can’t remember. I am not navigating a foreign country, there are no language barriers or unfamiliar roads. I am still navigating. I read somewhere that our brains can’t always tell the difference between excitement and fear. Sometimes you have to pick one and tell your brain that it’s that.
I am thankful for this exciting time! I am thankful to be witnessing my own bursts of regulation. I am thankful for the speed of change. I truly am thankful for these ever changing, fast paced moments. I am thankful for ALL of my people and each precious moment I get to spend with them. I’m thankful for the love that I feel steeped in. I am so thankful to be standing at the top of yet another full day that is sure to be filled with vast possibilities and who knows what kind of fun.
Peace Kit 