Many examples

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Feeling loved is interesting. A Positive example of feeling loved. Hmmm. Is there a non positive version? I would say that I am probably always loved, but I don’t always feel it. (Or know it). Maybe there is also the possibility of love being so all encompassing, that it’s easy to take for granted. Which then may take a special moment to really hit and become memorable. I wonder…

If I’m paying attention, I have daily positive examples. If I’m not, other things get my attention and I miss what’s most important. It’s that brain thing, where if you are in the habit of noticing, say a white jeep, white jeeps seem to be everywhere. If you aren’t, they are just another car on the road. I wonder if that’s part of how some people end up feeling loved and others don’t. Partly anyway.

When my kids were born I remember thinking that I wanted them to feel so loved that it would be like breathing oxygen. So loved that they never had to ever wonder if they were or not. I was, like many new parents, trying to out do my own childhood..

Now I wish I’d also trained them to look for love evidence, because seeing positives is a good way to self regulate. I find if I can see more of the good and also see more evidence of love and positivity in my life (or in the world), I am better. I show up better, calmer, more myself. When I let my brain sort and focus on the opposite, I don’t do as well. Its good to have my recticular activating system working in my favor.

I feel loved right now. I’m sitting with my husband as he searches for something to watch on tv. We spent a stretch of the day outside in the rain watching baseball tryouts for a nine year old who has never played baseball before and then more time in the rain watching the Kids for Peace Kindness Matters kickoff. Now sitting here, hot tea in hand, next to my husband, I feel loved, warm, contented.

I am teaching myself to look specifically for these kinds of moments, proving to myself that it’s never too late to program my brain to notice more and more positive life examples. Feeling loved is a big one. I know I can always use a little more of that feeling. Funny that I never knew the step of looking for evidence of what I want to see more of. It’s a good regulation trick that I’m still learning.