My ‘strategy’

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

I think the most important thing for me, stategy-wise is to just allow all feelings to come up and not decide that one is better or worse for the having of it.

I used to try to ward off negative feelings. Ignore them, pretend I wasn’t having any, or worse, judge myself. I used to get a little upset that I couldn’t just get over it or not feel positive for whatever reason. Even less helpful was me trying to justify and/or blame circumstances, myself, others for my bump into negative feelings.

I’ve certainly not perfected it, but simply saying something like: “Oh anyone would feel that way if that happened to them” and then: “what can help me feel a tiny bit better right now?”

I know it’s small, but that simple bit of self compassion can make a big difference in helping me feel better faster. I could take days to work through my negative feelings and that’s fine too, but when I just want to get regulated fast, the first few things I say to myself are important.

Great prompt question for me today because lately, it has felt like a lot of negativity keeps bombarding me. From movies to media to just walking into weird energy. (Ever walked into a room after an argument just took place?) so lots of random practice. Actually it’s good because it’s not all personal but still, I feel it. I was starting to wonder why, which I know is not helpful either.Why me? Is never a helpful question when I’m feeling dysregulated. I’ve learned over the years what sends me into or keeps me being a victim and now try to avoid those thoughts.

Sometimes all I need is to remember that there IS still good, beauty, and love around, even if I have to look harder to find it. It’s always there. There’s a line in Peaceful hearts that says that too. I just watched the most recent version of The Color Pruple’ Years ago I read the book. It was harsh story of a truly harsh time. As they pointed out at one point, you sometimes have to look to find flowers that are purple, but as you start noticing, you will see more and more of them. Looking for love and beauty and joy is like that.

Even when I can’t find good, just knowing it’s out there is more comforting than thinking it’s not…

That’s my best strategy at this point.