October 8, 2010

On this day, so many years ago, a man walked onto the elementary school campus where I was teaching. It was lunchtime for first, second and third grade. I had a break between classes and was checking out some temporary partition walls for an outdoor art show the following day. I was alone in the media center when our principal ran by saying to shut the door, we were locking down, there was shooting.

I heard it, but we had construction going on for months, so it didnt register as something other than a nail gun. I left the media center after a few moments of silence when I saw the second grade teachers run past. They were off campus and managed to get back on before the police had a chance to stop them. We all ended up in the office. The majority of kids ended up in one classroom. Two children were airlifted to a local hospital. Parents stood helplessly waiting in a park across from the school.

That moment turned into hours of lockdown, then months and years of PTSD.

For our whole community.

I think all these years later, the thing that sticks with me is the fact that the experience affected so many people for so long. The aftermath of what happened AFTER is one thing you hardly hear about.

We were wrecked. Everything changed. Nothing ever went back to the innocence of before. And no one wanted to talk about it.

Rarely do you hear about a community several months afterward. We had therapy dogs on campus for the rest of the year. Parents stayed with their kids for weeks on campus, unable to leave them. Some teachers were edgy and fearful and suddenly angry all the time. Eight foot fences went up. Rules changed. Our beautiful open school, became its own fortress. No more riding bikes or playing basketball on weekends. It was forever locked.

Life changed. We changed. Since that day hundreds, probably thousands of schools have also had shootings. I wish this one thing could completely stop.