I would say no. My life is not.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around where I am.
But I wonder
Did I ever stop and try to picture my future life last year?
Because last year at this time we were driving back and forth to two different hospitals. Our eighty seven year old patient was facing surgery or death. (both really). The weather was miserable. We limped through the holidays with little to no festivities, or warmth, or light. It was a heavy time. If I recall, we were still trying to figure out how to get along. Television blasted at all hours, nothing made sense, sadness prevailed. I missed my kids, my friends, my life…
This year, is different.
Well
I mean, some things are.
We still don’t know what our ultimate plan is. We are leaving for California soon.
In some ways, I have figured out how to exist here, dare I suggest even thrive? I’m actually going to miss things in this life.
Speaking of picturing my life, I think I’ll devote a little time to picturing next year.
One thing we will have is our own space. This odd transition time will open up. Grandkids can visit. Next year we will have more choices.
The other day, I made a weird decision to do a little baking. In so many ways it was a debacle, reminding me once more, that things are still far from ideal. 
I’m glad though. I needed a pause. I probably needed to remember that I’m still straddling, I’m still taking each day as if it was an ocean wave. I have a little more idea of what to expect, but not entirely.
Next year, I picture way more fun. Way more beauty. Way more flow and ease. Way more me and way more of my own choices reflecting light and joy outward and bouncing back into my home, my life, my relationships.
I am putting those little candles in every window. ( it’s a New England thing). Putting up outdoor lights, baking for the neighbors while listening to music (not heated discussions about the last piece of confusing mail). G says we will put lights on our dock. We will make everything festive and lovely and we will definitely pack more fun, more joy and way more cozy contentment into to our life.
I will travel back to California for a lot of December. Kansas too. I will love the season. I will love many more things about my life, because
Well
that is how I’m picturing it.
Peace Kit 