Dream Job

Or rather dream career or maybe dream life…

Sometimes I look around and wonder if I’m not in it right now.

I’m an artist. It’s a job, a career and a life. It’s not as glamorous as it sounds.

Getting ready to show art is a many faceted thing. It’s like a puzzle, which I like. Focusing on both the details and the big picture is pretty fun for me.

I’ve put together many shows, solo and otherwise. Every time I’m at a different place in my life which means a different place in my career. Art requires a fairly introverted, behind the scenes person to be brought into a the spotlight, which basically feels like being put on the spot in some uncomfortable way. At art school is was the critique. I went to a big college with huge classes. My art and I had to endure our share opinions. Emerging as an abstract expressionist also had its non-popularity. Juried shows, oh my. I still don’t know if I gained a tough enough skin over the years

Its not without a fair measure of social insecurity that I do this show thing. I wish I had the bravado of Picasso, but I don’t. I still find it weird to be judged for what I create. Or to have my art judged and take it completely personally. Hard to separate myself, even this late in the game.

I just watched the documentary about the making of We Are the World. Forty artists in one room creating one thing. It was a good reminder for me, that even the best of the best is still human and subject to all the stress and insecurity of the creation process. There was a sweet moment when Bob Dylan (of all people) was having a moment and a little group was compassionately trying to help him. Stevie Wonder got him laughing, and then he seamlessly did his part. Making art is a complicated, often messy, emotional workout sometimes. We all get in our own way at times, it happens.

I’m somehow still enthralled with this whole process. The art world has shifted and changed and I have shifted and changed. I’ve stuck it out. Loved the highs and endured the lows. Always a willing participant, I like it. I love it. I might be having the time of my life.