Like closing my heart
As in: no, I refuse to let this interfere with my life.
That’s the main goal really, being authentically, unapologetically, calmly, confidently aligned with a better me.
No I will not let the energy of discontent rule my day or ruin it.
Inwardly, I am saying no very often because by saying no to closing my heart, I am saying yes to openness, compassion and love. Enthusiasm. Fun. Ideas. I’m saying yes to how I want to feel, how I’ve chosen that I want feel. I choose every morning that I want to feel open, and stay open even if something or someone pushes my buttons. Especially when.
Sure things come up. Complications arise. Problems need to be solved. I guess I decided that I want to move through life’s glitches with love. Fear has not been completely helpful, anger isn’t always a good option. so I decided on this new approach.
Yesterday I got a text that I was scheduled to go into a third grade classroom to begin a collaborated art project. I’d had a couple of meetings, but they were general, I was still trying to comprehend what my client was hoping for. The project is intended to be auctioned at a fundraising event. It’s high end, there are many variables, many unknowns, I still have several questions. As unprepared as I was, I was going in…
I got the text Monday night that Tuesday at 10:20 was best time for the teacher. It was late.
This is reminiscent of my son waking me up one morning needing a costume right now. For history day. For school. Oh and can I bring snacks and attend a performance at ten o’clock. Today. Costume before 7:45, snacks made and me dressed to meet up with teachers and other parents by 10. Three other kids to get to two other schools. Yes that did happen, (I’m sure I’m not the only one)
So Monday night, I set the phone down and came up with a project.
Tuesday morning at 4am I was figuring out how best to involve twenty-three nine year olds. At 5:30 over coffee, I was mixing paint…
By 8:15 I had already met up with my kids whose kids attend the school, walked with them to drop off where I connected with the school liaison and was assured there were paint brushes.
By 8:45 I was on my way home from Home Depot with supplies., (no time to wait for Michael’s to open).
By 10:05 I was at the school, signed in with my volunteer badge searching for the paint brushes.
Two hours passed in a messy blur. Afterwards, I wiped down the tables and cleaned the brushes. I still had a whole day’s work to navigate. I wasn’t sure if the wet paintings were going to work themselves into something that my client would approve of. I was covered in paint and sort of exhausted.
Today, after washing my hands about a million times and showering, paint is still stuck to my fingernails. I am scheduled to help with another project at another school.
I have at least eight other pressing things to take care of today, but wow, did I just navigate the impossible yesterday!?
Can I tell you?
It fell together perfectly, seamlessly, and turned out to be pretty fun. (I was about to feel the tiniest bit guilty about how fun this crazy art life that Im living is, but stopped and relaxed my shoulders, took some long deep breaths, and let the utter gratitude for all of it wash over me
All because I’m saying no.
And yes
Peace Kit 