Peace?

(From a several months ago, I wrote this after returning to CT after a meandering trip to see my kids and brother. It was just weeks before breaking my ankle)

What brings me peace?

Peace is one my favorite things.

As a child I sought it out every chance I got. I mean, I like a little chaos too, but my small child system felt the best when the energy around me felt peaceful.

All these years later, I still search out and enjoy peace.

Beaches, water, being near the ocean.

A walk in nature, music, silence, reading. Lots of things bring me peace. I can walk on a beach or sit on one for hours. The sound of waves crashing on or gently lapping the shore soothes my every mood. Even a pool or hot tub can do the trick.

There must be something to this. I have always been that ‘too’ sensitive sort and tried for years to be otherwise. I may have toughened up slightly, but in general, before I think to read the room, I’ve already felt it.

I’ve wished, that I didn’t, but somethings haven’t changed.

Too often I burst into a room and realize one second too late, that who I am in that minute does not match how the others are feeling. Then what? Would I be better to bravado my way through, ignore the feeling?

One day I’d like to feel or not feel clashing energies and confidently carry on when things are not fine. Maybe be the one to project peace?

When things ARE fine, I relish it. I love a light peace filled moment. I have so enjoyed the friends and family I have interacted with for these last two weeks. (this is an old draft that I didnt post, written right before I broke my ankle) Each interaction was easeful, fun and peace filled.

Truly, a bit of peace can erase it’s opposite. Thank goodness for our tiny beach by the dock in Connecticut. A sweet patch of water too soothe me. My first full day back and whew.

Some time well spent in the blessedly air conditioned yoga studio, another two hours on the beach, some nice chats with neighbors, time in my garden, all bring me some very much needed and very appreciated peace.

Ah peace.

What I’ve learned in truly uncomfortable moments, is that I carry my own internal peace with me. No one or thing has to change for me to find it.

That little nugget of understanding has changed me

Has changed everything

If I want to feel peaceful energy, I can.

I may have to step away. I may have to look hard for examples of good. I may have to get myself to a beach. It might even be a few slow deep breaths or a moment in a garden that will do the trick.

Just to know that its there and I can find it.

It still takes a minute, or several, but I know its there.

For me, knowing this is completely helpful.