Sunshine?

What’s the trait you value most about yourself?

I’m using these prompts to really think about my values. I’m also reflecting on knowing myself better. So this is good.

I actually googled ‘traits’. Did you know that scientists and breeders breed for traits. Some traits are genetic. Some come from habits. Some are born of experiences We have so many different traits that make up who we uniquely are. Listing them would be challenging, but picking one to value the most? Hmmm Which one do I value above the others?

I think I’ll pick being sunny. Whatever it is that helps me to be upbeat. That. I tend to wake up happy. It might sounds weird, but I do. I don’t try, I know it drives non morning people a little crazy, but I can’t help it. Sure I can think my way out of a happy state, and unfortunately often do, but if I were to have a default setting, it would happy. Sunny. I have a huge capacity for sunshine. If I go to bed worried or wake up in the night anxious, if I can get to sleep, I’ll wake up early, reset and fine.

I like being sunny. I like the perspective it gives me. I like that its there always, no matter what life sends my way. It’s what makes me feel lucky. It’s how I manage to weather hard times. It’s what I try to foster and grow in myself so I can feel regulated more of the time.

To acknowledge and declare this feels a little embarrassing. I spent many years toning it the heck down. Sorry to everyone who wakes up slowly and grouchily, (my family), but I can’t help being happy for a new day. I love the morning! I love getting up and out. I love bursting into any amount of morning chill. I used to hurry through morning chores as a kid so I could just get out. I loved the freedom of that! I still do.

Often a day will overtake me and I’ll have to claw my way back, or get off to bed early, but I know happy. I am familiar with feeling calm and confident and generally upbeat. I’m thankful for that inter knowledge. Like my personal North Star it never goes away, I might have to look hard, but I know what I’m looking for and I know it’s there.

Thank goodness!

Is this my best trait? Probably not. Do others admire it? Most likely no. Why do I find it valuable? Because it’s a friendly constant. If it disappears, anyone can tell something is off about me. Even without much self awareness, I know. It’s a connection to my soul that if lost, has to be reconnected before anything else.

Lesson today? Embrace my inner sunshine. (If you saw me walking in the rain, Brontë sister like on a cliff over looking the turbulent surf, today, you might find this helpful tip a little funny).