Nostalgia

What do you feel nostalgic about?

I sometimes feel nostalgic over the littlest, silliest things. Other times, it’s the significant and memorable, that send me down memory lane…

My brother and I have the best childhood memories of living in California. We moved there twice from Canada. We were never close to a beach. We were culturally out of step with Californians. We weren’t even there long, but everything Californa was seared into the dopamine regions of our young brains forever.

I later married the most stereo-typical surfer anyone could ever find, Californian or not, and I wasn’t even living in CA when we met. My husband once said of himself, people think everyone from California has blonde hair, blue eyes and a great tan, when they meet me, they think they’re right. I went on to have four blonde kids. Three boys who’s hair I let grow long, contrary to our at the time community norm. I was born too late to really be a hippie, but that never stopped me. It’s the best way to describe what I’m like and trust me I TRIED to blend, for years before just giving up.

Anyway, I liked California. Or really, I LoVED California, and it loved me! It was the first place I ever lived or found myself, that I felt at home. It was and still is, like returning to my mothership. I, for whatever reason, make sense there. In other neighborhoods and classrooms, I was one of only a couple of blondes, if not the only long haired blonde girl. I love that a good percentage of women have their hair lightened. I like to blend a little without much effort. Very refreshing.

It was a lot of things. The wind, the sun, the energy. I loved the music, the fashion, I was smitten with all of it. I liked the way things flowed. As a kid, I didn’t think much about why, I just accepted that it was what it was. Fun.

Also, I loved and love the easy-going approach to most things. The over the top indulgences. Who doesn’t love abundance? No one cares if kids get big headed or bratty. No one didn’t compliment and encourage children, even in the Mad Men era. Disneyland was almost a literal metaphor for our life in California.

Swimming pools and pie. Hot chocolate and stuffed animals. Rides rides rides! Treats and fun all day long. Even school was a bonanza of incentives. Ice cream bars, and extra credit. I actually excelled at school. I freaking LOVED school, which was a first for me. I, who they wanted to fail every year since kindergarten, shot straight to the top of the class. Uh. Hmmm

Oh I’m not saying Californians are perfect, they are just different. When I was a kid I’d never met anyone like them. For most of our lives, there were rules and budgets and disappointment.. It was cold, it was gray, it was often a bit stodgy. California for us was Canada’s opposite evil twin.

My parents could hardly handle all that sunshine and joy. They seemed to like it at times, but soon we had to move back. This was like when anything wonderful comes to an end, devastating, but you know, life…

Now, my brother and I still have conversations about our Californian nostalgia. How lucky we were to have it be a bright spot in our childhood.

Don’t get me wrong, Canada is a beautiful place with plenty of lovely people. It was my home for many years. Weird that I fit better in a place so far from where I was born. I know now as a grown up, I can always seek out and find like minded people. They arent all living in one place like it seemed when I was a kid. I looked hard as a grown up for community and found it in many different ways. Now, on the East Coast, I’ve found some like minded people as well. Always fun and it does make me a little nostalgic for those days around the pool hanging out with the nicest, most generous grownups ever, who actually seemed to LiKE children! Even if they were faking I couldn’t tell. One time three different neighbors made me a birthday cake! THREE cakes! Who wouldn’t be nostalgic for that?!