Then and Now

Hmm… where to start.

I mentioned a while back that I taught a meditation class.

I am less than qualified to teach anyone how to meditate. I can barely sit still, much less sit in meditation. At least that was who I was when I started.

I used to teach art. This will be my back story.

There already was an art teacher. When I accepted the teaching position, I had planned on teaching drawing or painting classes, but no.

I am interested in meditation. I go to yoga. I tossed out maybe I could teach meditation. This is how it started.

No one was more surprised by this whole thing than I was. The class filled up, and became popular. I decided to make it an exploration of different methods of meditation. We tried out a wide variety, then talked about them.

I gave homework. I did the homework. Somehow this affected me. It must have.

Over eleven weeks, I fell into a habit. When Spring session and my class ended, I kept meditating every morning. I still do, in fact I oddly look forward to it.

Where I was at the beginning is almost a different place, I’m practically a different person.

Okay not really, but everything FEELS different and well, it LOOKS completely different too.

I may have stumbled onto something here. I’m less easily phased

The physical differences keep surprising me. The space I created so we could make coffee without upsetting the world of my MIL, has transformed.

It went from one folding table (left up from her last tag sale), a small corner carved out between old tools and picked over goods, to a full make-shift camp-like-kitchen pieced together with furniture that didn’t sell and things I found on the side of the road. I have a good eye and a gift for arranging things, so with a little paint, some butane stoves and one electric hot plate, we made a space we could cook in. Kind of.

It all worked. It satisfied simple needs. Not ideal, but useful.

In three short weeks this happened:

It has become a functioning kitchen with a side area to sit comfortably and enjoy our coffee.

The extra garage paraphernalia has been either taken to a transfer station or relocated to the shed or new garage. Many, many steps have been taken to turn this into a sweet miracle.

Now, I am not suggesting that a couple months of meditation will usher in remodeling miracles. I think that might actually be backwards. At some point I realized (while it was still raining), that I was feeling good. I was completely fine. I didn’t need things to change, I was finding many happy moments WITHOUT a miracle.

Truly, if something disregulating occurs, I shake it off and expect things to work their way out.

Here is what I can say, I am more fine than not. Content. Light.

Clashes? Differences of opinion? Rain? I guess I’m not as attached as I usually am. I care, but now I trust ?

Daily meditation has calmed me. I have been more easy and chill about things. Every little and seemingly big issue gets a shrug. Meditation has given me a new level of peace. Its the kind of peace that needs nothing to happen. I just mostly have it.

How is this kitchen being configured, painted, installed? Easefully.

Decisions based on ease. Me zenfully accepting whatever shows up, knowing the rest will also show up.

Meditation. Who would have guessed?

Things may have happened anyway, eventually. The difference is me. My new chill attitude. My contentment. My faith in the process.

I’m not entirely sure that the speed of things changing isn’t related to my ease around them.

I wouldn’t rule it out, but however I look at it, meditation seems to be improving my life.