What could you let go of, for the sake of harmony?

Being right.

Would I rather be right or happy (harmonious)?

Mostly saying so.

This I get to practice almost daily. I’m not right, always, in fact Im often wrong and easily admit it..

But when I am, it’s obvious. Still, I run into that Emperor’s New Clothes situation so often. There are plenty of reasons for people not wanting to know, I get it. If the story is told well, you see some of the whys.

Today’s not saying anything, is about the dock.

At the end of the dock, what the storm didn’t destroy, is a floating plastic eyesore of a jet ski launch. I’ll take a picture

The neighbors and I have discussed it. It’s ugly. The plastic jet ski launch piece for a jet ski that no one has, could be sold for almost $1000. (?!!) The rest of it is just floating ugly plastic.

If it were mine, I would sell the one part and put a wooden facade over the rest.

I don’t understand why after all the trouble and expense of building a dock, you wouldn’t want it to look good. In a world of New England charm, function wins over form,

again,

leaving me perplexed,

again.

I don’t entirely understand the function part, probably plastic floats better than wood, and never breaks down…

Or something.

I’ve already asked too many questions. G clearly doesn’t want to discuss it. I’m having that discouraged depressed feeling I used to get when I watched ugly buildings being built as a little kid. Nothing can be done, so the best thing I can do is to let it go and NOT mention it again.

For peace and harmony right now, the answer is that. Let go.

Some things just don’t matter as much as peace and harmony do.

(Sometimes, if I’m quiet enough, people kinda hear though🤷…)

Describe your most memorable vacation.

Well it’s funny, I have had some memorable vacations in my life. Like safari in Africa, searching for pizza in Naples, camping in Yosemite…

Visited the Louve, the coliseum, the Mall, two Disneys, Banff, Lake Louise, the sequoias, Hawaii…

But I still love my early memories of going to our cottage. It was our ONLY vacation in those days. We went every year and for a little kid, it was the best!

Playing in the waves, eating outside, following our grandpa around, (he fixed things constantly). There were rides in the boat, rides on the lawn mower, or on the backs of mini bikes, eating corn and tomatoes and cantaloupe right out of the garden, beach bonfires with grandpa singing and playing guitar.

Mini boxes of cereal we never had at home, ‘pop’ in glass bottles, cherries and watermelon, things we never saw unless we were at the cottage.

Summer was summer at our cottage. Warm, even when it rained. It’s a similar climate here actually. I love how I am reminded of those younger times almost everyday lately.

Summertime is abundant and colorful and hot. Flowers, birds, gardens, bugs! Everything is at full throttle. Every day feels like more than the last. I must have relished this and internalized it, as a kid. I love this crazy in-your-face undeniable abundance. The outside world is ALIVE and flourishing. The hydrangeas are weighed down by their many blooms, the neighbor can’t find the path in her garden because the leaves of her Zucchini plants are prehistoric-huge. Green is as green as it gets and everywhere. The water is warm, but refreshing. Fruit is sweet. The air is moist, the sun is hot

These were my childhood memories of summer. Such a dramatic contrast to the rest of the year. I guess that’s why they are memorable!

What is your favorite genre of music?

I like a lot of different music genres. I think I have a wide pallete for many things so it’s hard to say just one.

On what subject(s) are you an authority?

Oh an AUTHORITY…

Well, (clears throat)…lets see

Art, aesthetics, breathing exercises… ask me anything.

I’m kidding.

As much as think I know, what I really know, is that there are vast amounts of information I don’t.

Mostly I know a tiny bit about things, enough to be dangerous, as they say, but don’t put me on Jeopardy.

After a quick Google search, I could SOUND like an authority, but trust me I’m not. This is a funny prompt question

When I was a little kid, I acted like an authority. I walked around giving other kids ‘parts’ in plays. I assigned the pitcher and catchers if it was baseball, who was Dorothy (never me) and who was the scarecrow (always me), where ‘home base’ was, named our kites, approved whether we were done with projects (like the go-cart we built- yes it HAD to be painted and numbered).

Never was anyone less equipped to be an athority (five, six, seven, eight year old me). What might have happened if I’d kept that, yikes…

Happy 4th

What’s your definition of romantic?

There was an art and literary movement in the early 1800 that called itself Romaticism. I like it’s definition. Born out of a rejection to industrialism it went on to influence art and literature all the way until now.

Imagination, emotion and connection to nature were the key emphasis. I love these.

I kind of romaticize everything, I can’t help it. I like conversational details because my brain is always making up backstory. Everyone’s life is like a motion picture playing out at the same time. Like double plots in novels. I add extra color, dramatic music, trees, flowers, wind, stars, sparkling water, sunshine, rain…

In other words, romance doesn’t only have to do with candles and flowers and love poems to me. It’s life, it’s drama, it’s beauty, it’s fun! Well that’s how I see it anyway.

How do you express your gratitude?

I always wonder if I’m expressing gratitude properly.

As a child, I suspect I had some weird mixed messages around giving and receiving and the correct manners required (which were never clear). What WAS clear, was that we didn’t deserve what we were given. Also guilt. Lots of guilt!

I never thought about this actually as a grown up, weirdly.

I love gratitude. I have seen it transform my life several times over. I’ve kept gratitude journals for years, but the question of how do I ‘express’ it makes me uncomfortable.

Like, I will surely get it wrong.

I say thank you, of course. I’ve written thank you notes but nearly always break into a sweat over my ill expressed literary thankfulness.

I’m in a place in my life now that is all about letting go of whatever obstacles that are in my way, so, maybe it’s good that I’m considering this today

I like being grateful. I AM appreciative. I thoroughly enjoy little things. When I think of it this way, I feel like a truly thankful person. Take the manners and protocol out of the equation and it’s fun.

One time I was in Rome trying out gelato for the first time in Italy. I was so overwhelmed and excited about the whole colorful experience that I almost cried. The Italian guy waiting on me saw my emotion and was extra kind to me. He even included an extra flavor to try. Somehow, I think enthusiasm is contagious.

Later we found ourselves in a little shop in Paris. They had the most beautiful fruits and vegetables I’ve ever seen. Again I was overcome. I bought an odd array of things, but I was most excited about these tiny plums that were both delicious and so pretty.

Maybe I best express my gratitude with enthusiasm and sheer love of a thing, or an experience, or a person…

I also appreciate a good appreciater. My son once had a girlfriend who was great at recieving compliments. She would say “oh thank you, you are so sweet”, or “wow you are so kind!” My little grand daughter says in her cute little baby voice “oh sank you!” Once after I said “that was a nice walk” she sincerely thanked me taking full credit for our nice walk

What are you most worried about for the future?

I used to worry incessantly about the future. As a kid , as a teen, as a college student, as a young mother, every stage of life it seemed had a new set of things to worry about.

As life went on, it always seemed that the worst things that happened, I didn’t see coming, they weren’t the things I worried about. Meanwhile I was wasting huge chunks of time making myself miserable because worry only made me MORE fearful. I did not need more fear, I needed less!

Somehow I started using my worrying time to do other things with my brain. Reading, listening to music, up lifting things, meditation.

Slowly, I think I changed this habit. Now when I start worrying, I catch myself. I interrupt my unhelpful thoughts and do something else. Sometimes I get up and move around, sometimes I turn on a show. If it’s the middle of the night (my prime worry time), I do a breathing exercise or go over things I’m grateful for, write, research, look at Pinterest etc

This has taken years of practice, but so worth it.

Didn’t Mark Twain say something about worrying about a million things, none of which ever happened? I can’t get those worry hours back.

At some of my hardest times, I would think this: I don’t have the luxury of worrying, I have to trudge through, I have to stay sharp, stay on my feet and show up. I need to keep my energy up and strong so I can soldier up. I’d tell myself, you can be sad later, but today…

When my youngest baby was in NICU, I had a lot to worry about. Every day was bad news, I had three little kids, my first husband checked out (he couldn’t show up at home, or at the hospital) I was on my own. I HAD to power through. I was so exhausted from absorbing all the difficult things, but sleep was barely an option. One time someone came to the hospital and asked me how I was holding up. I cried for the first time and realized, not well, but falling apart was not an option.

No one saw that coming. Things worked out, but I did learn a thing or two about worry, about myself.

Over the years, little by little, I learned how to fortify myself. I figured out my own set of mental hacks. Its not perfect. I’m challenged often. Some days it feels like everyone and everything is working against me, but I never regret this effort.

I catch myself before wasting time worrying into fear. It took years

What makes a teacher great?

Teachers.

Great teachers I’ve been fortunate enough to know, have changed my life.

In one school, we had a teacher who read to us from non picture books. She would invite anyone who wanted to, to put their head down to listen. Some kids would even fall asleep. Not wanting to miss a moment, I didn’t want them to chance that. I loved this part of the day almost as much as recess.

I later had teachers who connected with me, and helped me reach potential, no one thought I had. Their gift changed the whole trajectory of my life.

After I grew up, I met teachers of my kids who I later worked along side and saw their brilliance every day.

I once watched a gifted swim teacher help kids over their fear of water. I saw her do it over and over, but one little girl who went from one extreme to another, was unforgettable.

Miss Linda had a way of being firm and reassuring and held such a strong you can do it belief for every child she taught, that all walked away from her pool successfully jumping in and swimming. In two short weeks, I would witness miracle after miracle.

This little seven year old had moved to California having never learned to swim, old for the land of sun and beach. Most kids learned before they were old enough to remember learning. Her terror of even putting her face near the water was strong. Miss Linda patiently coaxed her and four other younger but still old for CA newbies. The day this girl put her face in the water, and all the things she learned together, we all clapped and cried. At that moment we all saw something extraordinary. She swam, but even bigger than that, she beamed, she was suddenly in love with her new skill. She swam and swam.

Great teachers teach more than skills. They teach possibilities, they teach us some things about ourselves that we may never know we could be or do. They show us who we can be, help us find what we love. Inspiring, connecting, sharing, believing plus some measure of magical love makes a teacher, great.

What are your daily habits?

Habits. Hmmm.

Well, I wake up early. I can’t help it. I wake up with the sun, earlier than the sun in the winter.

Always way too early, I have plenty of time to think, be grateful, research my latest project, shower. Even go outside to check on the garden or my boat. Which I love, getting up and outside in the early morning is the best! Most days, I’ll go work on something in my studio space for a bit.

I drink a lot of water. take some vitamins…

Does anyone care about the average persons habits, I wonder.

I usually do a little stretching, yoga, a little exercise like squats, kettle bell, Russian twists. I brush my teeth.

(I’m already quite bored by my own habits…)

Fix my coffee, sit for a few (listening to something uplifting on headphones to drown out the news)

Leave for yoga or a walk or both

The day falls together after that…

In the evenings, there’s supper, hopefully a walk, water the garden, weed, sit and enjoy the warm night outside for as long as possible. When we go in, its a stretch of sitting and watching sports on TV. This is a new habit that I have never had as an adult. Growing up, I sat and watched tv with the family. I generally don’t spend much time sitting or I didn’t, maybe movie night(?), but now it’s what we all do. So sitting with family watching tv, like in the 70s. It’s not so bad. Supper time and tv time, I’m learning,- are important.

Bedtime, I wash my face put on a bunch of lotion and cream, brush my teeth, sometimes shower. And…Thats probably it.