I recently learned about a condition called C-PTSD. I feel like my learning about this was a clear divide. Me before I knew there was a thing called complex post traumatic stress disorder and me afterward.

Not everyone will take this in, I completely understand. I have been living in a community that probably doesn’t suffer from this at all. Since I do and it’s clear that I have for as long as I can remember, it makes it interesting and raises questions. Do I try to explain or do I just move forward incorporating this new understanding for myself?

I decided to find an online community who may also benefit from knowing about this. With this side note: as I have always known that there was something different about me, I was constantly trying to remedy what I felt was ‘wrong’. This lead to a whole lot of compassion, understanding and self soothing tactics which I think might be helpful to others.

I have researched and tried so many different philosophies to try to ‘fix’ myself, it could be considered embarrassing. Little did I know I was becoming pretty skilled at regulating my brain and body during tough moments.

Where I used to think that I lacked motivation and follow through, I now see that I actually had both. Not in the ways that I had hoped, not so obvious to anyone, but so much so that I can say I’m good at something I didn’t know was even a thing. Self regulation. It IS a thing and ptsd or not, everyone can find some peace when they learn to do it.

I’m going to highlight different ways to calm our nervous systems. If it sounds crazy, well, maybe it is. Here’s hoping it will be amusing and helpful and enough so that anything crazy will be overlooked.

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Hello World!

Im Andie.

I have some ideas that I hope will be helpful. I’ve spent most of my life looking for ways to improve and live not only more authentically, but with grace. Grace from being peaceful, kind, calm and loving. I’ve spent a lifetime making art, writing, reading and teaching art. Along the way, I’ve fallen short. I’ve lost my footing. I’ve failed miserably at seemingly easy things. I’ve made huge mistakes Like most everyone, I’ve lived through tough times…

I’ve also learned. I’ve stood up and tried again and again and again. I can tell you that I’m terrible at many things and the older I get the more I feel like I don’t know. Plus I tend to lose interest easily, so there’s that.

But

One thing I will say and I can say for sure, is that I do know how to pick myself up, dust myself off, and find a way that’s better.

This blog is about regulating because the one skill I seem to have practiced, for way more than ten thousand hours, is that. Re regulation. I didn’t even know it was a thing until quite recently, but I am confident that I’ve honed this skill and continue to hone it every day.

I invite you to join me as I move ever more toward a more consistent regulated state. I have a constantly expanding tool kit of ways to regulate, some of which, I hope you will find useful. I’m all about adding quality to life, even the weird moments. Probably especially the weird moments. One thing I’m really good at and truly enjoy doing, is making anything better…

I’m going to start here. Since the terms regulated and dis-regulated are extreme opposites, I think it helps to know them together since they help define each other.

We all get disregulated and we all return to a regulated state. It’s part of being alive. Think of a gazelle being chased but not caught by a lion. If you’ve ever seen this on a nature show, usually with drum music playing up the chase, you can almost feel the fast heart rate and panic of the running for its life animal. And then as the lion falls back and gives up, the gazelle rejoins it’s herd and goes back to grazing as if those frightening moments didn’t just happen.

We aren’t gazelles, but sometimes life can get our hearts racing and fear can block out our otherwise ordinary day. It doesn’t matter what grips us with fear or anxiety or anger, we all know it when it happens. That feeling of utter angst. That is disregulation. If you have any form of PTSD, angst can flair up suddenly with no warning. All at once you are too angry or sad or fearful to even have a clear thought.

Eventually you calm down, relax and feel fine. You might get riled back up if you tell and recall some of the details, but eventually you return to a general feeling of fine. That feeling of neutral, calm confidence is the feeling of being regulated. It’s a feeling we generally like or we aren’t overly aware of.

Dis-regulation takes many forms. Think of a toddler being inconsolable over the wrong juice cup. A frustrated boss or parent shouting down at an obvious subordinate. Even a pet owner with an out of control dog. I’ll talk more about getting disregulated in another post. Just know that being regulated is a sharp and refreshing contrast.

In a regulated state conversations are light, decisions are simpler, our bodies are relaxed. It’s easy to have a change of mind or shift plans. We feel calm and relaxed and open. Exercise, eating well staying hydrated are simple components of a balanced life, not a white knuckle battle of internal will power. Interactions with others are comfortable. if there was a secret to a happy life, it would have a lot to do with spending more time in a regulated state.

Contentment, comfortable in your body and life, it’s a feeling of all over enough-ness. Often when we judge ourselves against another it’s because we sense their regulation and wish that for ourself. And how could we not?! Some people can feign regulation, but usually it’s self evident. Comfortable feels good both inwardly and outwardly. The good news is that we all have access to it and the not so good news is that we all fall out of it. Life can almost be broken down into two states. The desired one is regulated.

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