The consensus is that summer is officially over. There’s this big division of season that I’m not really feeling today. Is it really Fall? No white clothes or something like that?
We spent the morning in my boat at high tide. I love the vantage point from out on the water. It’s so pretty and so peaceful. Birds fly overhead, fish jump, solitary fisherman are the only other people around.
It’s too warm to feel like picking apples or baking. This morning I’m in shorts and barefoot. We have been enjoying warm days on beaches, eating dinner outside, little evening bonfires.
I’m not finished roasting marshmallows on sticks, or eating corn on the cob or barbecuing. I’m not quite ready to say goodbye to summer, not this week anyway. Our garden is still giving us vegetables and even surprising us with new flowers and growth.
Somehow I want to slow things down and savor all the lovely summer moments that will soon, so very soon, dissolve into the cozy sweater weather of fall.
Not that I don’t love Autumn, not that New England doesn’t have so much to enjoy in Fall. Maybe I’ll be ready for all of that next week…
In the meantime, there’s some sunshine, warm water and sand still to hang out in.
That saying: “you need to turn this ship around” usually said to someone whose life is noticeably off course, why a ship?
Ships don’t turn quickly. Neither do boats really, (so I’m learning). They get off course in increments. If a ship is going in the opposite direction, there will need to be a lot of time and turning. A U-turn is a pretty big complicated, slow move for a ship. Probably, it over shot its destination, correcting sounds hard.
I woke up thinking about turning my own ship around.
Turning…
Where and how did I get off course? My instincts are not to figure out where or how and to just start turning.
Start…
I feel like my moves will be small, I want them to be gentle. My swath wide.
I don’t know what lies ahead. On course or off, there is always the unknown. I’ve spent plenty of time as a human in the unknown
Haven’t we all
It definitely feels better to make a decision. Initially course correction feels daunting, though
And hard.
Meanwhile,
My favorite baseball player was just called up. He has been making his way through the minor leagues for awhile and finally, finally put on the uniform and hit his first ball as a major league player.
This was last night. He’s twenty one. In the stands they interviewed his dad who said the thing we have always known about Thomas. For him it has always been all baseball. He has loved it and nothing else since he was very little. He spent the majority of his time (pretty much all) playing, watching and practicing baseball.
This kid never got off course. He did what he loved and he worked hard at it. Every day.
Not to discount my or anyone else’s meandering style life. I’ve had a lot to learn.
A lot of other stuff, also.
How incredibly excited we all are watching Thomas realize his dream! It’s the best kind of energy and we are all feeling so privileged to watch it all happen
It too was in increments.
It did take him nearly twenty years of continuous dedication, work, focus, and love.
Part of the fun of this new gallery development, is that it’s my good friend. We’ve been having the most fun conversations about designing her new space.
My kitchen needs some further definition. It’s functional, but I have ideas.
When you have the right people to bounce ideas off of, it does make things so much more fun.
I almost forgot that part. When two or more people collaborate there can be a bigger creative energy. Even famous designers hire designers to help design their own homes.
I’ve been thinking a lot about these things lately. Creativity works well when creative people come together. Creative communities can be fun and innovative and inspiring!
Flowing energy always feels good. Flowing creative energy is my favorite kind.
Today I picked tomatoes, basil and a green bell pepper from my garden and made pasta sauce. I also made a caprise salad with more garden tomatoes, all while on the phone helping my friend pick colors and design her logo. I also worked on a new painting.
Before that, I had some fun art conversation after yoga. Plus, while still at yoga, I sold two more books.
On my after dinner walk, I remembered to bring scissors to I cut a vine I’ve seen hanging over the sidewalk. I made a wreath as I walked.
As the full moon and Fall equinox close in, creative forces seem to be swirling around. This could be my imagination but I don’t think that matters. I know I’m not the only picking up on it. I’ll happily take feeling creativly inspired for any reason, A N Y time it shows up!
All summer we have been meaning to go to one of these and finally we are heading there tonight.
I spent most of today online and on the phone trying to sort out tech issues (not art related). This is not a favorite activity of mine. I actually feel quite spent, but good to have things resolved in a few places and be on our way to something with art in its name.
Fun or not, (you never know), there will be pizza and ice cream and it just so happens to be a beautiful September evening.
I feel like it’s a research related trip to see some art and some examples of gallery spaces.
Things have changed in the art world since my early days of trying to get gallery representation. I had some lucky breaks off and on over the years. I did plenty of juried shows. ‘Juried’ which is a fancy term for paying money to have your work judged pretty harshly. Usually it comes down to who you know, but if you get in, you feel so approved of.
That’s a good thing to remember, or know. I wish I knew it way back then. I thought it was all about how good my work was. It’s partly that of course, but there are a lot of other factors.
It’s a fickle business.
I’m glad to be on this side of my art career looking at this wacky possibility/opportunity.
Taking it all with a grain of salt. (I guess a grain was a pinch and a pinch is a measurement). Salt represents skepticism. I looked it up) So a tiny measure of skepticism is my nod to the fickleness of the business of art.
Meanwhile, we are going to Chester for some art and music and pizza…
There is a cool possibility that maybe, I don’t know, but…
I’m getting that reminder again.
It seems like every time I get away from doing art, something always pulls me back.
Art is a funny thing. It’s superfluous. It’s not practical or even nessesary. Survival has little or nothing to do with art.
Yet, art has a power over me that I can’t deny or ignore for long.
I try.
Life seems to do everything it can to distract me. I often find myself in circumstances that distract me for every understandable reason imaginable.
Finding supportive friends in a sea of practicality is challenging, but I’ve done it. Even here in the NE. Still, I have a big chunk of my life revolving around the most uncreative pastimes.
Yesterday, I was caught between two conversations. One had to do with lawn maintenance and neighbors who choose fertilizer over organic lawn care. The other was about art.
Oh art… art art art…no contest for me.
Don’t get me wrong. I care. (plus I really do strive to be practical)
It’s just that, well, the pull from art gives me a more expansive perspective. When I’m really feeling low, I miss, I grieve for, I CRAVE inspired creative expansion. I don’t know how better to explain it. Little details that circle around and around seem to feel like a spiral downward and that circle feels like a funnel, like backwards Fibonacci, getting smaller and tighter and more constricted.
I think we all have a different balance for our comfort levels and when it gets off, we feel off. For me it seems that if I don’t experience newness from someone’s innovated creation process (mine included), regularly, I lose some of my lightness. Weirdly a measure of hope disappears with it.
I can exist for awhile and have, but it’s like when I have too much time between yoga, when I exist without it, I don’t feel as healthy.
Once again I am being reminded of how important art is to, I guess my outlook. What I find most interesting today, is the familiar little nudge or tug. I never know where it will come from, but I love that it shows up. I love the serendipity, the randomness and the unmistakable power that inserts itself into whatever is going on.
My friend and long time collector of my art, just got keys to her new gallery space.
In LaJolla, CA.
On Prospect St.
Suddenly, I have a reason to paint. A very good reason. A weirdly fun, dream-come-true kind of reason that only the comic ethos could dream up just for me.
Meanwhile, I’m waiting for a callback from the WiFi carrier…and discussing why brown patches are spreading across the lawn…
I’ve traveled far away from my home a few times in my life. Some were memorable life enhancing trips. Travel is good for opening our eyes and minds and hearts, I’ve always thought.
When I was a kid we moved two thousand miles across the country away from friends and family. That was life changing. Later we moved to CA. which was so different it seemed very far. I went to college in a different country. That felt far.
Sometimes it’s not so much the physical distance as the cultural differences that make you feel far away. Differences that are exotic, probably a big part of the appeal of travel, are one thing.
Moving is something else.
I will venture to say that home is an important place. It is an extension of who we are as people, as families. Our culture makes us and we make our culture. When we are out of our comfortable places, we grow, but it’s not without some hard moments.
I remember my mother setting up our home after each one of our moves. She would unpack boxes, arrange and rearrange furniture pictures, cupboards. Life inside would look very similar to where we left. Outside, we had new kids, new schools, new neighborshoods, new stores, new weather and many new ways to learn and get used to.
This last move-ish thing we’ve done has felt and continues to feel very far away.
This might feel like one of the farthest away places I’ve ever been.
Pretty. Here’s the garden we built and planted. G did the building parts, and dug out the front flower bed.
We’ve had several days of I’m not sure what you would call it.
Indecision?
Angst?
The weather is changing. Fall is here I guess, and we have no plan. It’s been a really long year of not knowing too many days ahead, so we are probably all feeling tired.
I know that I sure am.
Limbo is getting old.
On Saturday, G decided we needed a fridge. He spent ten minutes looking online, then jumped in the truck and left.
Well. That purchase made things a whole lot better. I won’t go into all of why, but I will say wow, what a difference.
I decided we needed a trash can. After searching all day, I found the perfect one. Oh my gosh! I LOVE my new trash can.
I’m not going to explain why or how these two items have changed our life because it might get long winded and boring, but oh my!
I’m creating a kitchen! Makeshift or not, it’s going to be beautiful and functional and Im going to love it. It’s even going to be insulated.
Plus we are formulating a plan to go back to CA in the winter, it sounds like that is for sure happening, though we don’t know when. In the meantime I have a creative outlet to keep my mind busy.
Eventually they have a plan for an attic granny suite. Drawings are being reviewed by the city. This has and could take a discouragingly long time, so I’m so relieved to be looking forward to heading back across the country. And to be creating a little cooking space in the meantime.
They contribute to making my life as good as I can make it. With so many small variables, not in my control, I’m learning to lean into the things that I love that I can do and have and be.
I know this is a temporary situation. I know that the hard things are pretty insignificant and small. I feel strongly that this is all important. It’s also an exercise and a learning experience, but the every day of it causes me to need some reminders.
Blogging helps me remember who I am and what I care about.
I enjoy the community and the other blogs I get to read. My favorites are favorites because they talk about things that I love, in ways that I love.
I haven’t been keeping track, but because most of the prompts are repeats and marked answered, I guess I have passed my one year point.
Maybe that makes me a writer. Maybe it makes me consistent. Maybe it’s just keeping me sane. I know it’s helping me stay me.
Whenever I answer this question there’s always more, but I don’t usually want to get into it. Fine, OK, good…
How are YOU all feeling?
Is it a bit of a weird question. Personal? Always changing?
Actually, it’s a good question for me to ask myself.
Or
What am I feeling? If I remember, I follow up with: How would I like to be feeling? How do I want to feel? If I can find that answer and a way toward that, I can have a springing off place. It’s a good mental game.
Peace Kit 