What’s the oldest thing you own that you still use daily?

I have paint brushes that are pretty old.

I once went on a small adventure in Paris to purchase a paintbrush because a friend had shown me her cool French paintbrush and I wanted one too.

It was a good adventure. We took a bus ride to somewhere very far from the Eiffel Tower and somehow found a tiny art supply store where no one spoke a word of English. All around us, there were cheese shops and markets that sold only fruits and vegetables at the height of their seasonal ripeness. Wine stores and random racks of clothes for sale on the street. A bakery like we had never seen before…

We somehow had stumbled into a non tourist part of the city just following directions from someone we met at Musse’ de l’orangerie, me going rougue, on a well planned trip, wanting a single paintbrush.

It became a significant fun memory from our visit to France. The fresh plums, the delicate cheeses, the boxes of pastries. I still wear the cotton summer dress that I bought on the street!

And my paintbrush? I still use it most days. I probably have some that are even older.

Describe one of your favorite moments.

My favorite moments are usually moments with people that I love.

It’s hard to choose one, so I’m going to tell you about a fun moment from today.

I had a free hour late in the day, which is unusual, so I texted my friend in CA. The time zone difference makes it hard to connect because when I’m up early and able to talk, the west coast is either still asleep or just waking up. My day gets busy, then ends abruptly with supper, followed by a long spell of sports watching, while back in CA there is plenty of daylight left.

My friend texted me back that she would call in five.

When she called, she said my call was at the perfect moment because two more of my friends were with her! My walking yoga girls who I miss terribly. What a fun surprise! I do love a serendipitous moment and this one was just what today needed. It put a smile on my face and a lightness in my step for the rest of the day.

What notable things happened today?

I had a small epiphany.

Nothing super interesting. I may have had this same one before, but already I feel a shift.

As you know, I’ve been having a time of it. Trying hard to fit myself into a life that isn’t maybe ideal for me.

I have good reasons to keep trying, that part is clear, but lately I’ve hit a wall or two. I have not been able to figure out how to continue to navigate and believe me, I’m trying!

Complaining has helped me find some humor, get a little validation, but I wanted a better solution. I don’t like my complainy self as much, though she can be witty, I’d rather be more upbeat…

So today, I was listening to Marisa Peer say that she liked ‘fact statements’ over ‘affirmations’. She then gave a few examples, which sounded good to me, and then she gave free downloads of a few short meditations.

I listened on my headphones to one, and then another, (instead of the morning news) and instantly I felt better. I realized that like yoga poses, I needed to counter some of the environmental difficulties with positives. Up until I saw this, I was trying to endure and dissociate and smile through everything.

I was feeling like, well, everyone else seems fine with all the TV and news and criticism and OCD, I just needed to get used to it, is all.

Well. I COULD and I have, but I think a better plan for me, is to counter things with better fitting ME things.

White noise couldn’t complete with the news, I found, but this did! I still do white noise meditation , but strategy is key, so are where and when.

Even as everyone else is grumpy and sullen, I am out here in the sunshine, sanding more blue paint off my boat, enjoying a windless summery moment.

I don’t love being blue, I’m not a fan of this particular shade, (it seems to be everywhere, not just stubbornly clinging to my boat or covering my hands and clothes), I’m not a fan of a handful of things right now, but I know that working through them is my best plan. Little epiphanies are a welcome indication that it’s all going to be okay.

Eventually.

In the meantime, I’ll be countering the un-me-things with more me-things.

And sanding my boat…

What are you passionate about?

Well.

It’s not that I don’t have people and things that I love dearly.

I’m guessing the question is asking for something like art or God or beauty. Or fashion or reading or I don’t know, something all consuming.

They always say follow your passion and that’s how you’ll know what to do with your life. (to young people). No one has suggested this to me lately so I’m guessing it’s for a certain demographic.

At the moment, there is a void of passion for much besides the odd beautiful walk or sunset.

Is it a sign of age? Or is it related to my current circumstances? I couldn’t tell you.

I’m not sad about my lack of passion of late. I’m sure something will come along and inspire me. Something always does.

For now I’ll just enjoy the peace of an uneventful day.

What is your favorite season of year? Why?

Late late summer, early fall. September and October in CA are the best. Sunny warm, and rarely gray on the coast. Every year they feel like bonus months full of sunshine,empty beaches and good vibes.

Even here, the extended summer of ripe tomatoes, whatever is still growing in the garden. Slightly cooler, but still sunshiny and mostly warm

If humans had taglines, what would yours be?

Maybe laugh at reality. Abstract it, find humor, take a breath.

What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

Maybe laughter? Money. abstraction, humor, yoga. Beauty (I like to be surrounded by beauty, nature, art, design etc, but that’s not universal), fun, joy, insight, inspiration,

L O V E

Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life.

Hmmm

Let’s see…

I feel like I’ve been a real student of this.

But lately, I might be failing

Seriously.

joy. joy? j o y ? Uh

We decided to drive to Rhode Island today. Never mind joy, we just need a break. The weather is predicted to be sunny and warm. There are beaches with real waves…

I brought a jacket and a sweat shirt which was a good idea (I’m learning), because it’s neither warm nor sunny, but the waves are surfable and the sand is warm. It’s lovely…

Sometimes the things that are hard, are hard to describe. Sometimes describing doesn’t matter at all. I do like to be understood, but I’m learning that being understood isn’t as important as other things.

I just listened to a podcast about the basketball player, Bill Walton, who recently passed away.

The guy telling the story was a sports writer and true fan. He gave examples of statistics, of games played and other facts about Bill’s career. He said that here was a very talented player whose bad luck and injuries prevented him from really being the player he should have been.

He had recently interviewed Bill and wondered about his thoughts on the subject of success as a basketball player.

Bill who really was a dynamic force in the NBA on and off the court, said something to the effect that it all comes down to choice. He said that how you approach anything, is choice. If a player wants to be all about himself and win games like that, its just another choice to be accepted. Not judged. It’s just a way to play the game.

It was an interesting conversation that took you right out of the game of basketball. Bill didn’t think of his life as full of bad luck, even if this young writer did. He didn’t care about that either. He stood by his choices and lived his life on his terms. Injustice, injuries and number of games played or not played. He stood up for causes that weren’t popular, he seemed to understand life and its meaning way beyond what happened on the court.

Bill Walton was a talented player, yes, but even more so, he was a pretty amazing and insightful human.

I love being inspired by greatness, however it is demonstrated.

That gives me joy. Adjusting my perspective seems to also.

Who do you spend the most time with?

It’s Friday and it has been a full week.

Directly after I decided to unplug (as suggested in an earlier prompt), G’s step father’s health took a turn and he needed to be taken by ambulance to the ER. This caused various complications with his mother’s condition (canceling and rescheduling important doctors appointments, more pain from walking etc. He was disorientated and called several times in the night, not knowing or remembering he’d called, none of us slept. Her pain is worse and seems to be migrating to her back.

So just a lot of juggling and troubleshooting, doctor and hospital visits and trying to peice together what’s going on physically and mentally with both of them.

Meanwhile I struggle to do chores in a way that is up to her standards and navigate the fluid instructions that filter through three of us with the constant drone of TV news playing in the background. Old ears that don’t hear as well, (All of us) So many ‘who’s on first’ conversations…

My last blunder was buying bread and cherries at the wrong store and then failing to buy bananas because I couldn’t read her abrieviation. (who abbreviates bananas?) Seemingly small infractions, yet causing enough grief to be repeatedly brought up.

Certainly nothing fun.

Meanwhile, I’m doing my best to stay upbeat and keep a sense of humor. Some things need a few days to go by so we can find the humor, but it’s always there. eventually…

These are the people I’m spending the most time with. Life is well, bananas. What can I say?