Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.

My daughter in law called me up right after Christmas. She noticed there were some cheap flights on New Years Day. Did we want to come out? The kids were missing us…

When she called, we were parking at Yale hospital, and then walking in. When I mentioned it to G, still on the phone, he looked around as if to say “How ?!” Or maybe, “impossible!”

Hospital visits were a daily thing at that point. Cold gray New England winter had set in and we were all tired. Nothing was changing, I told her I would come. (a least I wasn’t needed at that point)

That one phone call, her generous invitation, set us on a whole different path . When we saw our patient that day, he was recovering well. For a guy who had nearly died twice in the last week, he was making a miraculous come back. They were going to transfer him to the closer hospital and from there to a rehab facility near home.

G saw his chance. He set out in the car before my plane took off. I jetted happily to the west coast.

One fortunate thing after another, kept us in California all winter. ALL winter! Thanks to my sweet son’s wife, and the miraculous set of circumstances that followed, plus some amazing friends, I got the best reprieve anyone could have ever asked for! G did too.

What is your favorite restaurant?

My favorite restaurant is in Mystic, Ct. It’s called The Oyster Club.

We found it many years ago when we owned a house in Quakerhill. This restaurant has never once not lived up to its own high standard. The first time we stumbled in, it was chilly outside, probably early spring. We sat in a tiny room with only four small tables and a bar. It’s coziness and New England charm might have been enough that day (I’m a sucker for atmosphere), but then came the food. Every single thing on both of our plates was amazing.

We eat there often. The prices are reasonable, the staff is lovely, there are places to sit outside and in different rooms, all are nice. I always hope for one of those bar tables hoping to recreate our first experience because it was and has remained one of my favorite dining experiences ever.

Their muscle dish has ruined any and all other muscle dishes elsewhere. It’s truly that delicious. They recommend getting the toast with browned butter butternut purée dip which for us now is a must.

I googled the name of the bread place where they get their bread. We went there. Also high standards of excellence.

The Oystar Club managed to come through the difficult Covid years as good or better, which isn’t the case for most restaurants,unfortunately, at least in our CA home. We were happily surprised when all these years later, it still tops our list of best restaurants and favorite dining experience . Each time we go, we are surprised and delighted by something new.

do you see yourself ?

Is it always windy in Kansas? It sure has been since we arrived. It’s a beautiful morning as we are setting out. Like the John Denver song , “…windy Kansas wheat fields…” So many possible wheat fields, I can’t tell if they are wheat, lots of hay too. Do you know about wishing on hay and looking away.? Plenty of wish opportunities and wind in Kansas.

G pointed out that I can’t know if it’s always windy here because I don’t really know Kansas at all. Ive been around myself all my life and sometimes I don’t know myself. It occurred to me that I sometimes pay selective attention. Not on purpose, but some things stand out and some don’t.

Yesterday we thought it would be nice to eat outside. We got our order to go and headed toward a nice looking park. We’d been cooped up in the car all day so it seemed like a good idea. Fresh air, a short walk, why not? Well. One word: wind. We had ironically just seen the Wizard of Oz Dorothy house in the same town. I said something about the plausiblity of a house lifting in off the ground…

Try to take a bite of food, hold onto a napkin, and the box, even with hair pulled back. Take a sip of water? It was like being in a wind tunnel. The wind was blowing in several directions so I couldn’t NOT pay attention to wind in Kansas.

Since I was wishing on a lot of hay, I was noticing that too. These things had my attention. I have learned about attention and intention. I have learned that what I give my attention to seems bigger and more memorable, but the best thing I’ve learned is that I can decide what I want to place my attention on and make that more in my life. I may get distracted by wind or people or situations, but I love knowing that I have a say in where I place my attention.

Do I know me? Do I know where I want to end up in ten years? Feeling joy and love and still having fun…

What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?

I’m glad it’s not asking for my top five because I’d have to think harder.

Seeing any one or any combination of my kids and grandkids

Hanging with G

Walking/hanging with friends

Coffee/tea

Art,yoga,comedy, fun adventures, music and and and…

Describe something you learned in high school.

The one thing I learned a few times in high school was that I could do more than I thought I could.

In eleventh grade I was misdiagnosed with hepatitis. I spent most of the school year in isolation before they put me and my mystery illness into the hospital to run more tests. Turned out, I had rheumatic fever. One round of penicillin worked a medical miracle. My liver was fine, but my heart valve was damaged, it was actually how they figured it out.

Needless to say, I missed a LOT of school. No one thought to send work home, so I was behind. Quite behind.

The next year I decided I wanted to go away to college. It was a late decision for a handful of reasons, but I somehow latched onto the plan and what followed surprised everyone. My parents never fully recovered from my early school years. Every year they had to have the no-you-do-not-have-our-permission-to-hold-her-back conversation, no she will not be in the same class as her younger brother. Send her on, who cares if she can’t read…no thank you to that stigma and/or embarrassment. So I existed as the not smart one, who later became the still not smart one who gets weirdly good grades. College was never discussed.

Then one day I learned I had this iron clad determination. I was going. My mind was made up. I jumped through every hoop, worked around the clock, tested and retested, signed up and shocked everyone by getting a decent score on my ACT. I applied, I even won scholarship money. I got in, got a student visa and went out of country to college. No one in my family ever did that before. It was a little crazy.

Who was that girl? At seventeen I made up my mind and defied a lot of odds. Later, through the years, I was always glad to remember that I did that. I had some other moments when I pulled off the seemingly impossible. Even today, it’s good to remember what a ‘stubborn will’ I have, and what can be made to happen because of it.

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

The positive change I made kind of snuck up on me. I tried out yoga on a promotional challenge. You just had to attend yoga thirty times in thirty days and you would get a cute tank top and a discount on a future monthly membership. I’m a sucker for a free shirt, also I was curious.

Up until then, I didn’t think much of yoga. I did ‘real’ exercise. I didn’t have time for stretching. It seemed a little silly to me and besides, there was a weird religious thing I didn’t know about. People always assumed I was a yoga person which annoyed me. I was an Artist, not a yoga person. I had had enough of religious preconceptions and judgement in my life, so I just steered right past yoga until that one random day. We were there for juice. They had a great juice bar on top of the yoga. G had found it. When I heard about the deal, it sounded too good to pass up. I love a challenge and I wanted the shirt, so I signed

Thirty days and thirty dollars later. I had a new group of friends, new yoga pants, and a new obsession. (also a cute new tank top)

I would have expected it to have run its course by now, but I never looked back. Two months in I quit the gym and have been doing yoga ever since.

It’s not religious. It can be great exercise and it has changed how I approach my life. I deal with stress differently. I gained some body awareness that I never had, I have better balance and flexibility and muscle strength . There’s also the conscious breathing thing. Yoga has been a very positive change for me.