Is it the Journey?

They say this. It’s not about the destination, it’s all about the journey. No story is worth telling (or hearing) if you skip over the twists and turns, and go straight to the ending.

I’m about to head into another part of this little journey of mine. I’m not sure how it will play out, (which I suppose will keep me interested and going), adventure will do that, even if it’s not death defying).

After Spring break, I have some opportunities to read my book in classrooms. Kids will be brutally honest. They will give great feedback. I will come away with good information to help me to ‘know my audience’ even better.

This is a book for teachers and children. It’s for parents too of course, but so far my professional friends (school district, teachers councilors and the kiddos I know etc) seem to be the most excited.

I find it encouraging that the topic of student mental health is starting to be a conversation in school districts. Programs are being implimented for all grade levels. At last this important topic is being addressed. My hope is to give all kids a leg up in this highly stressful landscape. Everyone can benefit from self regulation, these school children are the future, they are their own future as well as ours. Why not give them some mental tools for success? Isn’t that the point of school? I know I’m not far off on this.

So now I have some dots to connect. I’ve had some amazing advice. I’m way out on an unfamiliar limb here, but luckily my curiosity is piqued. Beatrix Butterfly and Peaceful Hearts are exciting projects that aim to meet mental health with simple practical suggestions that are proven to help. Written for a wide age group and even for the grown up reader, the message is universal. Breathing can help a stressed state be calmed into a regulated one.

It’s Complicated

What’s something most people don’t understand?

Most everything. The older I get, the more I know that I don’t know or understand. People, existence, life. I also know that I don’t need to figure it all out to live and be kind or to find joy.

I learned this recently. I learned that I don’t have to understand a person to love them. It’s not a requirement. It probably never was. (I should have learned this when I had teenagers) I don’t have to have a way to explain why things happen or why things are the way they are. My happiness, it seems, has nothing to do with figuring everything and everyone out.

I think it’s perfectly fine that most people, myself included, don’t understand stuff. Aren’t we all too complex to be completely figured out anyway? I’d say so. We are complicated beings, living complicated lives, in complicated society. I rather just love us and go on with my life.

So Many Ways

How has technology changed your job?

Exponentially!

Writing a picture book? Even a handful of years ago was so hard to format. I had to learn Adobe and fast, but there WAS Adobe. So there’s that.

This morning I needed to draw an egret and needed to see a picture of one to draw its legs and feet. Google, one second.

Everything is easier with technology. Canva? Being an artist is so much easier with cameras on our phones, the internet, even social media…

Equinox

Spring Equinix. It’s here.

Since the first of January I have had the privilege of hanging out and wintering in CA. Seeing my friends and family, walking the beach, working on my books. It’s been a dream that keeps on going. I have been here throughout all the things I hoped to be a part of including celebrating Equinox with my friends.

Tonight is the actual moment when day is exactly as long as the night. Cultures have been celebrating this yearly time of new birth for centuries. We humans love the beginning of warmer days, of melted snow and green. Why not celebrate the first flowers of the season? In California, springtime is warm enough to sit around a pool or lie on the sand of a beach and so we have. I’m even a little sunburned from outr days on the beach and at the pool. Celebrating the sun and everything Spring has been wonderful.

Spring has always been a good time for me to start new things. Or begin again the things I’ve fallen out of habit with. I like to reset intentions., get back on track, summer is coming and I want be ready. I might even like the process of getting ready.

Post note:

I’m not sure how I missed posting this, but I did. Life moves pretty fast. This past week has been windy and plans have changed and then changed again. My little life feels like it’s caught up in the wind, blowing this way and that. Some days it feels like a hurricane, other days a gentle Spring breeze. One thing I know, is that I will never forget this particular time. There’s a significance I feel around all of it.

Cheers to the Nos

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

My most important goal is to keep my energy as, light and flowing as possible. This sounds esoteric and somewhat comical when I read it back but let me try to explain…

In order for me to show up and move forward in life, in order to be effective and loving, kind and responsible, respectful and confident, calm and regulated enough to be goal oriented, I know I need to take care of my own personal energy. I know this better than I know anything. I absolutely must take charge of this first.

Circumstances don”t determine who or how I want to show up as in my life. Ideal events come and go. Life is fun and then it’s not and then it is and then not. Whenever I let things effect me, usually not intentionally, but when I don’t put my hand up and say no, I lose my way.

Getting lost in emotional reactions to situations can and has sidelined me. I’m an artist, I’m unfortunately or fortunately an emotional rainbow. I feel deeply, I can’t help that, but I can and am constantly learning how to check myself. This is important.

Saying no has not been my favorite. I prefer yeses. Lately what I’m learning, is that I must say no in order to regulate at times. No to certain thoughts, or conversations. No to certain foods or activities. No to too much sitting, no to ruminating on subjects. No to prolonged involvement in any negativity. I say at times because if I’m feeling intuitive, these aren’t absolute nos, I can absorb some negativity, I can have a hard conversation, I can eat a donut, I just need to balance myself out. Just knowing I have some power to affect my own energy feels good to me.

There was a time when I thought it was the circumstances that I was supposed to change or fix. I thought I had to make the situation better, change something external in order to feel better. It does look like that, so no wonder, but what I’ve learned is that it comes down to me. I can have light upbeat energy no matter what is going on outside of myself. I can take an emotional hit and shake it off. I can balance and regulate. I’m not, it turns out, at the mercy of anything. This gives saying no a new twist. Energically, it makes good sense. Cheers to me saying ‘No’ more often.

Update

Final mock-up!

Another unpredictable day. I have so many of these lately you would think I’d be used to them by now.

It took some time for me to glue the printed pages to the cut and folded poster board, but once it was together my book pages turned smoothly and looked okay. I had a walk planned with my friend who still teaches at the school I was an art teacher at. We met there and I was able to make some cuts with the school cutter. I wanted to show her my book mock-up because she’s taught every grade level and I value her opinion. Meeting at the school was fun. I ran into more teachers who I had worked with and love.

My other hope was to be able to read to a class. We are leaving soon and I was starting to wonder if I would run out of time or if anyone would be interested.

My friend sent out a group text and everyone responded right away with a resounding yes, please come to my class! Now there was the matter of when we would be leaving. Spring break is next week. Two more weeks seemed impossible only hours before, but when I talked to G two things had happened, three actually, and the opportunity to stay a bit longer opened up yet again.

These small miracles pull me forward. The enthusiasm from my teacher friends, the new developments that keep showing up randomly. They seem like little nods from the universe, little moments of doors opening, and flow swooping in.

Counting Down

My days are numbered. I have so much I still want to do. I guess that’s the way it goes sometimes. I’m taking some deep breaths and figuring out my priorities.

My mock-up copy of Beatrix was a big hold up and in the end I needed some real miracles as well as some extra work and money to get it done. And still, it’s not done well, but at least I can see it, turn the pages, check the spreads and the spelling. It’s fine. It does what ai need it to do.

Today has been a day of choices and work and phone calls and dashed hopes, with a few good things thrown in. A typical day I guess, but not all the way fun. It’s not over. I still need to exercise. (I usually do that in the morning).

How do I rally some good energy? This process has me practicing my regulating skills all the time. Hopefully that’s a good thing. I nearly gave up around 2:00 pm today, but here I still am. Tomorrow I’ll meet with my teacher friends. Tomorrow is another full day.