What was the best compliment you’ve received?

My son told me he’s looking for a house (to buy) that reminds him of the house that he grew up in.

You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike?

Depends. If I want to get there fast- airplane, but I’ve enjoyed many road trips in a car.

Who is the most confident person you know?

I can’t pick. I know a lot of confident people. My kids, my friends, my yoga instructors, people I’ve worked with. Teachers etc. Confidence is a quality that I’ve always admired. It’s hard not to be inspired by a person moving confidently through an experience especially when it seems challenging .

One thing that was once pointed out to me, is that everyone has confident moments doing things they are comfortable doing. Confidence is more of a state and less of an overall quality. Some people are not comfortable socially, but are confident artists or writers. Catch them doing one thing and they are confident, catch them at something else, not so much.

Is it possible to practice something until we feel comfortable and confident doing it? I think so. I’ve been fooled in the past by cool confident-seeming people, only to find out they were actually insecure and self conscious. Its possible they were faking it until they could make it. Which I think is a good plan.

It helps me feel hopeful if I spend more energy practicing being the me I like myself being, as opposed to wishing I was more confident at things I’m not so confident at yet. I say ‘yet’ because you never know. I’ve grown comfortable doing all sorts of things I didn’t think I could do.

Confident people, I believe, are well practiced. They also see themselves in a positive light. They understand their value without having to have it reinforced. Depending on how you were raised, some of these may not have been practed in your childhood, which is a bummer, but I have to believe that it’s never too late. I’ve learned how to practice them in my later years. Confidence, luckily, isn’t a all or nothing, you have it or you don’t, sort of a thing. Confidence is a state of mind and action. It can be cultivated. We all have things we do confidently, whether it’s our own dishes or driving a car.

We can all practice calm confidence while practicing new actions too. Our elastic brains actually enjoy doing new things. Happy Spring everyone, it’s a good time of year to cultivate some soon to be confident newness.

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

I think the most important thing for me, stategy-wise is to just allow all feelings to come up and not decide that one is better or worse for the having of it.

I used to try to ward off negative feelings. Ignore them, pretend I wasn’t having any, or worse, judge myself. I used to get a little upset that I couldn’t just get over it or not feel positive for whatever reason. Even less helpful was me trying to justify and/or blame circumstances, myself, others for my bump into negative feelings.

I’ve certainly not perfected it, but simply saying something like: “Oh anyone would feel that way if that happened to them” and then: “what can help me feel a tiny bit better right now?”

I know it’s small, but that simple bit of self compassion can make a big difference in helping me feel better faster. I could take days to work through my negative feelings and that’s fine too, but when I just want to get regulated fast, the first few things I say to myself are important.

Great prompt question for me today because lately, it has felt like a lot of negativity keeps bombarding me. From movies to media to just walking into weird energy. (Ever walked into a room after an argument just took place?) so lots of random practice. Actually it’s good because it’s not all personal but still, I feel it. I was starting to wonder why, which I know is not helpful either.Why me? Is never a helpful question when I’m feeling dysregulated. I’ve learned over the years what sends me into or keeps me being a victim and now try to avoid those thoughts.

Sometimes all I need is to remember that there IS still good, beauty, and love around, even if I have to look harder to find it. It’s always there. There’s a line in Peaceful hearts that says that too. I just watched the most recent version of The Color Pruple’ Years ago I read the book. It was harsh story of a truly harsh time. As they pointed out at one point, you sometimes have to look to find flowers that are purple, but as you start noticing, you will see more and more of them. Looking for love and beauty and joy is like that.

Even when I can’t find good, just knowing it’s out there is more comforting than thinking it’s not…

That’s my best strategy at this point.

What activities do you lose yourself in?

Yesterday slipped by in many enjoyable ways.

I chatted on the phone with my brother while walking on the beach. I exercised. I walked some more. We took the car in and walked to lunch while it was being worked on. The problem was fixed and not as expensive as expected. Lunch was delicious.

Later I went to my granddaughter’s play. Afterward we got coffee and dashed to my grandson’s baseball game. He made a few good plays, they ended the game in a tie, which was perfect because both teams played really well and everyone left on a high note.

Somewhere in the day I taught the three grands a new doodling technique called neurotrophics. We always enjoy a few minutes bent over our papers, sharing paints and colored pencils.

The sun shone, the sunset was beautiful. A nice day. These are the kinds of activities I love to lose myself in. I’m a little intrigued with nurograghics right now. More about that in another post.

What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?

You got me. I’ve currently not been watching much on repeat.

Are you

Am I at the place where I should be giving up?

This is a question I bump up against from time to time. Throw it away and start over? Pivot. Do something, anything, else. Hmmm

For today, I think I will step back. I woke up. Made a couple phone calls. Felt a bit discouraged and well, I see that I need to get my energy to change a little before going forward in any direction. So that means no decisions for now.

Now I need to turn my attention back to my own energy. It’s been a full week…

Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?

I try not to compare myself to others, which is hard enough with people who are often all glamorous and amazing. Doesn’t it seem equally silly to compare myself to a cheetah? Or a lion? I’m not those people and I am no cheetah.

There was a bit of prose by Glenon Doyal I recall reading. It was about a moment at their local zoo. She had taken her daughters to watch a rare event which involved a cheeetah and a dog running, and chasing a tattered toy on a wire. It was a spectacle for the crowd to see how fast a cheetah could run. Every part was contrived and unnatural. One of her daughters pointed out how the cheetah’s mood changed once the event was over.Apparently there was a dramatic switch from performer back to wild animal.

Glenon says that some animals can not be domesticated. No matter how or where they live, they remain wild in their hearts. Somehow when I read this, and I don’t think I was the only one, I felt a kinship with the cheetah. I too in my own way, am a little wild. Domestication never stuck, I run through my life, waiting for those moments of wildness because in those moments, I’m me.

There are no words for the freedom of my wandering mind. For a lack of protocol. For the bliss of chaos, for my own messiness of creation. I know the importance of domestication, I celebrate civility and refinement. It’s not about one or the other, for me it’s about balance, but there is a lot of wildness still in my heart. I like knowing that it’s not possible, like the zoo cheetah for it to be trained or domesticated out.

Wild is what I will remain, no matter where I am or what I do.