Many examples

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Feeling loved is interesting. A Positive example of feeling loved. Hmmm. Is there a non positive version? I would say that I am probably always loved, but I don’t always feel it. (Or know it). Maybe there is also the possibility of love being so all encompassing, that it’s easy to take for granted. Which then may take a special moment to really hit and become memorable. I wonder…

If I’m paying attention, I have daily positive examples. If I’m not, other things get my attention and I miss what’s most important. It’s that brain thing, where if you are in the habit of noticing, say a white jeep, white jeeps seem to be everywhere. If you aren’t, they are just another car on the road. I wonder if that’s part of how some people end up feeling loved and others don’t. Partly anyway.

When my kids were born I remember thinking that I wanted them to feel so loved that it would be like breathing oxygen. So loved that they never had to ever wonder if they were or not. I was, like many new parents, trying to out do my own childhood..

Now I wish I’d also trained them to look for love evidence, because seeing positives is a good way to self regulate. I find if I can see more of the good and also see more evidence of love and positivity in my life (or in the world), I am better. I show up better, calmer, more myself. When I let my brain sort and focus on the opposite, I don’t do as well. Its good to have my recticular activating system working in my favor.

I feel loved right now. I’m sitting with my husband as he searches for something to watch on tv. We spent a stretch of the day outside in the rain watching baseball tryouts for a nine year old who has never played baseball before and then more time in the rain watching the Kids for Peace Kindness Matters kickoff. Now sitting here, hot tea in hand, next to my husband, I feel loved, warm, contented.

I am teaching myself to look specifically for these kinds of moments, proving to myself that it’s never too late to program my brain to notice more and more positive life examples. Feeling loved is a big one. I know I can always use a little more of that feeling. Funny that I never knew the step of looking for evidence of what I want to see more of. It’s a good regulation trick that I’m still learning.

Extended

I think I’m tired. Maybe not physically, in fact physically I should be rested. I’ve been sleeping well, doing a lot of gentle yoga and meditating. Beach walks, catching up with friends etc.

It’s my mind that is all over the place. With so much happening at once, I have a LOT to think about. Places to be, people to contact, tasks to complete. All without much of an idea of how long I’ll be here in California. This might be the strangest leg of the journey that is my life, yet.

Back East, winter storms are raging. Our dock was wiped out. Our patient has taken a good turn and is home after months in hospitals following his unexpected surgery, among other things. All seems well with him, so we are extending our stay and adjusting our plans with each glowing report.

Maybe it’s because my mind seems to be in over drive lately that I am enjoying and keep looking forward to the twenty minute white noise meditation that my friend has included me in every morning . It’s a great challenge to quiet and settle my thoughts. It is worth every minute of effort, for the little spans of stillness I am able to achieve.

As an added bonus, my thoughts are slowly, gradually changing into helpful, inspiring ideas during that twenty minute period. I feel my worry thoughts dropping off a little which should be impossible. I would have expected the opposite.

You hear how important and good meditation can be. I have tried countless different sorts over the years with varying results. I wonder. Is my mind suddenly more hungry for peace? Is white noise my personal ticket? I really couldn’t tell you why I’m so taken with my friends version of meditating. I need to continue this on my own somehow.

Kindness Matters

Think back on your most memorable road trip.

I’ve had a few memorable road trips. My first book tour was fun, lots of trips back and forth to Canada, this last trip driving the jeep across the country, driving across Kenya to the safari place, (our guide got lost, our bridge washed away, we got stuck in the mud in the pouring rain, AND we got a flat tire, all happened on one long ride, that was pretty memorable! but MOST memorable is the Kindness Bus tour we went on for the Kids For Peace annual Kindness Matters event.

This might get a little long because I don’t want to leave out the best parts.

G and I painted the yellow school bus, blue. I painted murals on all four sides and on the top. One day we were sitting with Jill, founder and director of KfP and she wondered out loud about who would drive the bus. G said Kelly could do it. Fearless oldest son, he might have been half kidding, but it was true. Jill suddenly serious asked if we could ask him.

That’s how it all started. Kelly agreed if he could bring his family along. We all flew to New York in January. Jill and I, Kelly, Marion , kids… We had shipped the bus ahead and had to pick it up in New Jersey. Having never driven it before, with only a few pointers about breaking, Kelly drove into Manhattan toward Times Square. We had to find parking because the following morning we would be appearing on Good Morning America. If you’ve ever tried to park in the busy areas of the city, you might have an idea of the complexity of parking a giant school bus anywhere near Times Square. We circled the area. At one point we looked out and there was Kelly’s wife and three little ones walking. He blew the horn. Their surprised faces (along with the rest of crowds on the sidewalk ) were comical.

Probably the fifth or sixth parking lot owner after hours of driving around and being turned away, heard our story and said he knew a guy. We were able to park within walking distance to our hotel and GMA. An honest to goodness New York miracle

GMA in the wee hours of that cold January morning was quick, painless, and over before we knew it. Kindness week is a global annual event which grows larger every year. Over 19 million kids participate. Originally designed for schools, they later added a family version. There is a checklist of kind acts to do for the week. The list was made up by a classroom of children, so color hearts and hand them to people is one example. Play a board game with an elderly person was another. Our goal was to do everything on the list stopping at key locations to spread the message of kindness.

There we were, eight kids ages 2 to 15, Four adults on the road to Washington DC to the Peace headquarters (they have one).to do a planned kindness project. After the peace place, there was just enough time to see the Lincoln memorial which was a long walk for little legs, but it was worth the extra effor, because it was there that we started to see the effects of our kindness crusade. Tired and a little cranky as we started up the steps, there were suddenly a lot of people to hand hearts to. As each person looked down with surprise and then a smile, I saw the kids perk up and bound happily up the stairs, paper hearts and smiling people all around.

And so began the most unexpected series of kind acts turning into loving sweet interactions.

We saw people of all ages, in town after town, change in a second. We saw grouchiness fall away. Frowns become big genuine smiles. Sceptics and eye rollers turn into friends. We saw kindness melt hearts right before our eyes and felt the warmth of one loving sweet moment after another.

It was a phenomenon that no one, not even Jill could have predicted. The sweet energy that seemed to be with us from that day on, was palatable. On the day we were scheduled to ‘’play board games with the elderly’’ it was raining, some things had happened, we were late. They were concerned about getting to lunch on time. Some of the residents we not looking pleased about us interrupting their day. Our group, going in looked apprehensive. Who would have guessed that it would turn out to be one of the best days and sweetest interactions of all different ages and personalities.

Differences were quickly forgotten as games and conversation and laughter, even tears of joy filled that one community room. Marion bravely struck up a friendship with the most annoyed looking of the group. when I looked over, there she was with baby Rose chatting away while he smiled and chuckled with them, proving once again that no one was immune to kindness. G showed up with the grand dog, (he had elected to drive himself and meet us, rather than drive the full way on the bus). The no dogs rule dissolved when he arrived and he and Stone were additional love and kindness and even a little more fun. Lunch was late, no one wanted us to leave, we didn’t want to leave…

When the tour was officially over, we still had to get the bus back to California. We caravaned just our family. Everyone else had flown back. We stopped in Sedona. Still wearing our yellow Kindness Matters tshirts we drew a small crowd of curiosity. We were tired. We gave the briefest of explanations, but then people were thanking us, people were excited about the kindness challenge, one woman insisted on giving me her earrings. It was an interesting wrap to an extraordinarily memorable tour. The road trip, permeated with kindness energy, continued all the way home…

Kindness doesn’t only matter, it affects us deeply. It changes minds and moods in a moment. Kindness opens people up to other people. I’ve witnessed many examples of it’s moving power, as I’m sure we all have.

Once again GMA will be featuring the Kids for Peace The Great Kindness Challenge. Tomorrow Jill will be on the show. Saturday is the official kick off. If you want more information go to kidsforpeqce.org. Or just google Kids for Peace.

Nourishment

What snack would you eat right now?

My go to snack lately is cottage cheese mixed with yogurt, berries, Elizabeth brand granola, pecans, chocolate chips etc. It’s my high protein, nourishing pick me up. A lot of people don’t like cottage cheese, but luckily I do. Protien is important to me. Greek yogurt gives it a little zing. I choose full fat on both.

I have used an emersion blender to smooth out the cottage cheese before, but the texture doesn’t bother me, so I skip this extra step. I feel satiated and treated when I eat this parfait like snack. It’s a win win for me.

Where I used to think of Clif bars or cookies or chips or popcorn as my go to snack, those things never made me feel nourished. Sometimes, they left me with a stomach ache. Often, I would go back for cookie after cookie and feel more hungry and start craving more sugary carbs, which left me feeling terrible. It turned out, I had some insulin issues. My blood sugar would drop randomly and so severely I would lose brain function at times or get shaky or fatigued. ( kind of like that bonking feeling I’d get in long races). It was a weird phenomenon. I actually had to quit sugar because it was causing other problems as well. I later learned that I could balance out my protein/fat to carb ratios and be fine. I eat with the intention of feeling good now. It’s made all the difference.

H o m e

Kids for Peace Kindness week kick off.

We are in California. It’s winter here and it’s winter in CT, but wow, cold is relative. Rain? Also relative. We have seen record rain in both places. We aren’t phased. Nothing can dampened our spirits, we are home. I love this chance to be visiting right now. Life has brought me a whole unexpected experience and it has been lovely.

With things settled down medically back east, we took the chance for a little much needed break which has turned into something wonderful. One week has become a month, which may become two.

The unpredictability of right now is bizzare. I wake up thinking I’ll be doing some things only to have a day filled with nothing even close. Nothing has gone according to plan and I truly am trying to plan. Days have been flying by, time has never moved this fast. I must be having fun!

I AM having fun. In fact I’m having a whole different relationship with fun. This is an adventure. A winding unpredictable adventure that feels a little like sliding down a twisting water slide.

What I’m intrigued with is the power of intent. At a time when I have very little physical control over anything. I don’t have a car most of the time. I haven’t had work in months. The usual things that help make us feel a little powerful as humans in the world, I am temporarily without. Still, I am directing, in fact the only way any direction is given or taken has been in my mind. I’ll think of a few basic things I’d like to see or do and for whatever reason, they happen. Usually in some completely unexpected way.

Could it be that this is what I’m a student of right now? I have had things fall away. I have learned to let go. I understand impermanence a little, but this intentioning concept has remained mysterious. It’s interesting that in this odd state of free fall, I’m having many tries and even more reminders to try out setting small silent intentions and then seeing them show up. Yes the day may go awry, the events of the day might not be the ones I expect, but the general upbeat, loving interactions that I care most about, have presented themselves in sweet surprising ways. I couldn’t plan any of it better than it has organically happened.

There is an intelligence of the cosmos out there that I have no choice but to yield to. This is good! Didn’t Victor Frankle say something about the one thing no one can take is your mind. Everything outside can be what it is, but our minds belong to us. I know that I don’t know the full perspective or possibile potential. I understand being open to things I haven’t considered, but how cool to hope for a certain thing and see it come up while simultaneously seeing things not.

My mind belongs to me and I get to do with it what I want. I can let others influence it, but I don’t have to. I can let things get to me and sometimes they do, but I can change my mind and what I think about any time. That is my true power. Taking a moment to ask myself what I want most, how I’d like for things to go, has been so interesting. I guess I don’t care about weather, as much as I care about joy, love and fun. I really never know if so called ‘bad’ weather can lead to one of these things. Wouldn’t you know that it has!?

C r a z y

Come up with a crazy business idea.

It won’t surprise anyone that I have a lot of crazy ideas.

If three was ever a place to share one, it would be here, so this is mine:

I would love to be involved or in charge of a research study that would teach children concious breathing then measure and compare test scores, as well as social interaction and regulation. I would love a company like Pfizer to fund it and then seeing how undeniably helpful the results are, work to instll methods of teaching this in schools and preschools, business places, hospitals etc nation wide.

The business is to sell a curiculum that delivers the nurturing aspects of yoga without any of the stigma, as a health directive. I think it would work for physical as well as mental health. I believe it could become an accepted form of healing as well as a healthy part of any parenting and educational processes.

I think the crossover is on its way already. Just like acupuncture and chiropractic practices have worked their way into mainstream, so will concious breathing. When the average parent or teacher is looking for a solution for test anxiety, stress or dysregulation, having this as a tool will not only help the child, but will also have positive affects on the person delivering the lesson. As word of the benefits spread, more and more will want to have this breathing option in their toolkit. Ways to deliver this conscious breathing education will eventually be everywhere and even commonplace, I want to get in of the ground floor and watch as it catches on and grows exponentially.