It’s 8am on the east coast. My friends and family won’t be awake for a little while yet. G and I are at the beach. He’s in the water.
Before that we were on a drive. One charming beach town after another. Coffee. We needed some. When I saw the line in front of the little bakery/coffee shop, we knew. Croissants made on sight looking every bit as flaky and perfect as they look in France. Yes please! ‘Sift’ did not disappoint. The coffee was hot, good and they had heavy cream. A ham and cheese croissant! Apparently there are two more Sift bakeries. One in the cute town of Mystic. Really?!
Summers as a kid were spent at our cottage. Driving along the water as we got closer was pure anticipation. Cousins, aunts and uncles, Grandpa!
My Aunt Maureen was a lifeguard so she could take us out when the waves were big. She taught us to jump the waves and to body surf. Every day was a beach day. We swam multiple times. I remember pulling on my least wet sandy swim suit and heading down the wooden steps. The last five were too big to manage alone so you needed a grown up to help.
We spent hours collecting rocks and shells and if you were really lucky, tiny pieces of blue glass. The beach meant summer and summer meant freedom and pure fun.
I took my own kids to a California beach that I came to also love. I logged hours watching them play in the surf. I ran and walked many miles on the sand and on the beach wall. I was there every day. Somedays more than once.
Luckily our adventure on the East coast is taking place in a beach town as well. Beaches here are less populated and calmer. No waves but the summer time vibe is alive, though fleeting. The beach is helping me ease into my new location. Spending time in nature can be many different things. I’m so glad that for me it means walking along a beach, feet in the water. A beach can be so regulating for me. I love it.
I just drove from the coast of California to the coast of Connecticut. It took eight days. We arrived yesterday., so I’m waking up to nothing familiar.
My husband asked me the same question.
I laughed, but…
How AM I feeling?
I feel like a stranger in a strange land. I may have felt more at home in Africa. Or more myself, maybe. There is a lot to process at this point. I feel a little like I did on the first day of school after a move to a new city in a new country. I do love the feeling of adventure, but it’s sometimes hard for me to tell the difference between fear and excitement. I might be feeling both.
I often feel my feelings in my stomach. It’s not surprising that my stomach is unsettled and queasy.
We took a little drive and I saw a cute yoga studio. I saw a cute beach town. I could see myself happily living in a town like that, walking to yoga, maybe even working there.
This is the most hopeful I’ve felt and I really like feeling hopeful. Anticipating something I can look forward to, is nice. I have lowered my expectations for everything at this point. My aim is to keep myself as regulated as I can. Transitions are not terrible, some are even fun. Uh. I’m open to possibilities…
A nice cup of tea, a lovely morning drive, the hope of a yoga community. (again I am not expecting much), G said California is very unique. I get that. Last time I moved away from what felt like my mother ship, I never really acclimated. I was an awkward teen then, and in no way self aware.
This begins a whole journey for me. Who am I again? How do I feel? Discombobulated. Fearful, and in a big part part undecided.
I don’t know!
Maybe a little excited and adventurous. Mostly, just undecided. I think I need a day or two to figure it out, but thanks for asking!
What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?
Stretching and meditation are two things I do every day. I didn’t used to stretch. I only had so much time. Meditate? I could never sit still while not painting.
Now I start every morning with a series of stretches that I learned to do in yoga. It’s not time consuming and it feels great.
I now know more than I ever thought I wanted to know about facia and breathing. I’ve learned to sit still and my brain feels so much better then it ever has.
What was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?
I thought there was a movie about a butterfly beating it’s wings on one side of the world causing a tidal wave some place else. I thought it starred Jodie Foster. All I found was an Ashton Kutcher movie about going back in time. Didn’t we already learn that going back in time and changing things would have consequences? Marty McFly went Back to the Future and messed things up for the better. I guess that worked out for him, but not so much for Ashton.
The reason I was looking was because I like the idea that if one person influences the world for good, that it has the power to change things across the whole planet. One person following their dream, using their gifts to help others can have a butterfly affect, in a good way. I believe everyone has gifts to share. I believe in the positive effect that one person can have. One kind word or action and how that spirals out and touches many…
When I had the idea for my butterfly breathing book, I thought about how teaching kids how to butterfly-breath could help teachers and kiddos everywhere to have many more positive experiences in the classroom. Also parents and children might have more calm confident moments at home.. I love all the butterfly metaphors.
I wish I could find the movie I’m thinking of. I’d like to learn more about the science behind the butterfly effect.
It seems from what I found on google, that the butterfly effect is used to show what can go wrong if one seemingly small change is made in nature. It can go both ways, though. Remember when they reintroduced wolves to Yellowstone Park? Many species came back and thrived.
I wrote these two little books about breathing and being okay with our emotions and life stages. My hope is to see them to go out and have their own butterfly effect and have a positive affect in homes and classrooms all across the world. I’ve seen the effects of breath to movement. I know how powerfully it can change a mind in a moment. I know how it can impact life over time.
I believe that small, even tiny changes, can have big impacts. I love that. I love it as a possibility.
Focus, Yep. I gotta have it. This is something I sort of figured out a little at a time over the years. If I don’t have a project or something goal-like in my life, my brain gets aimless and opens up to anyone’s suggestions. Focus is my friend.
That is a little funny coming from ADD me. I may or may not have ADD. I was diagnosed when I was under an extreme amount of stress as a young mom with sick husband and a baby in icu. I decided to exercise instead of taking medication (after reading up on it). Now I know a strong goal, ( I trained for my first marathon), some yoga, a little meditation and breath work, will keep me focused. Focus pulls me through anything.
The opposite just opens me up to other people. Other people don’t always get me. (except I think my good friends). Honestly, I don’t even get me all the time. I always feel the judgement of others, (too sensitive) which is uncomfortable. I try to remember that I’m in the arena and commentary is part of life, but if I’m in the arena with nothing to focus on, I become subject to opinion.
I try to not care, but it’s hard. With focus it becomes easier and sometimes I forget to care or even notice. Or, I m so on board with my focus, I love my idea so much, that I really truly don’t have room to notice, if I do I really don’t care!
Focusing on something like training or an art show or finishing this book, is just what my brain always needs.
I found yoga late. Or maybe it found me. Before I tried yoga I ran marathons. I did Pilates and kick boxing. I went to a gym.
I thought yoga was silly and would be a waste of my workout time. Plus I thought it was weird and controversial, which were two things I didn’t need more of. My art style had the corner on those things already. Changing my art didn’t feel like an option, yoga wasn’t on my radar.
One day I hurt my knee and my PT friend suggested a few things. One was that we go to a yoga class at our gym. Pain made me agree.
A woman I had never seen before was our instructor. She showed up in red stilettos and a leather jacket. Probably the coolest person I’d ever seen in real life, she was beautiful and muscular and Jada Pinka Smith confident. Yoga was like complicated Twister. Right hand here, left hand there. My knee felt about the same, but I went back. We would see our instructor drive up on a red Vespa in her signature heels. We were both temporarily hooked. Stretching and facia rolling might have healed my knee, but when the cool yoga girl disappeared, we lost interest.
Years later, a juice bar opened near our house. Green juice was my husband’s health thing at the time.The juice bar was attached to a yoga studio. They had an introductory offer of thirty days of unlimited yoga for thirty dollars. If you showed up and did thirty days of yoga classes you earned a t shirt and a deal on membership.
Thirty days later, I signed up and quit my gym. Obsessed. I loved the way my brain felt. I was physically stronger. I hadn’t heard much about breathing or mind quieting before, I learned that I really knew nothing about yoga. I had preconceived ideas about it. I thought it might be religious, I thought it was all stretching. I thought it was for limber 20 year olds. I thought it was for a very specific kind of person. What I found was that yoga is very diverse. I tried many forms. I never found it religious. I did hot, Yin, yoga with weights, yoga in the dark, at night in the morning, to AC/DC, to rain water, etc
Every instructor has a different style. I enjoyed most all of it. I did trainings to learn more about why my brain felt so good. Breath to movement was for me, magic!
It still is, eight years later, I’m still hooked. People say :”I should do yoga” I try to explain that there is no should about it. Yoga is its own reward. It’s like saying “ I should have a good cup of coffee” or “ I should eat a nice meal” yoga is not like going to do a workout. You feel good the minute you sit down on your mat and start breathing. As the instructor runs you through the postures you can only concentrate on your body and your breath. Somehow your mind relaxes. Somehow you walk out feeling amazing. Calm, cool headed, confident.
No stilettos for me, but I definitely feel like getting down to work on my big projects after a good mind calming yoga class.
Yoga during lock down. My instructor thankfully went online
My brother wonders if that’s why our parents never wanted to go anywhere. We watched tv every night. Name a show! I bet we watched it! We weren’t the family from Matilda, but we sure did watch tv as a family, a lot. Every night…
Remember Mutual of Omahas Wild kingdom? That was my favorite as a really young child, that and The Wonderful World of Disney.
Weirdly, I liked reading just as much if not more than watching tv. I think I just always liked a really good story and good characters. I learned a thing or two from some of my favorites. Mrs Brady didn’t do it all alone, she had Alice and Mr Brady. The bionic woman was just a regular teacher with secret super powers. Wonder Woman was a power person with only a twirl, some wrist bands and a good power stance.
Six Million Dollar Man, Gillian’s Island, Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Saturday morning cartoons, Bugs Bunny…yep we watched them all. I heard my first opera music watching bugs bunny.
I love getting up and out of the house early. The earlier the better. I’m what people call a morning person. Many of my artist friends are night owls. As artists we need quiet undesignated hours to do art. If I get up and out for a walk or run or a yoga class, when I get back, I’ll be focused and ready to draw or paint. My brain is fresh in the morning.
I love the coolness. I love the sun coming up. I love the empty roads and empty beaches. Birds singing, lighter moods, I love a new day about to unfold.
I have a few actually. My favorites always bring up memories. I love to cook, but, rarely actually follow a recipe, so the ones I follow are important.
Christmas cookies are traditional. I only make them once a year so I need the recipe card. I make the best sugar cookies ever and it wouldn’t be Christmas without Auntie Eva’s thimble cookies. We search every year for the perfect jelly to fill them.
There’s a chocolate bread pudding recipe that I love. It’s all butter and good chocolate and brioche and Baileys. I have a special dish to make it in even.
My sons and I make an amazing carbonara. It’s a team effort and the ultimate comfort food.
The thing about a good recipe, in our family, is that it becomes apart of us. Made enough times, we have a tradition!
I love tradition! I love all the years of memories. Making spaghetti carbonara with my boys at the end of a busy week. Relaxing around the table. Eating something delicious. There’s no better way to remember good times then with a special recipe. Rolling out cookies with little ones, teaching my oldest grand daughter how to arrange the brioche and chocolate, for me, it doesn’t get better than this.
Peace Kit 