When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
Usually I don’t
I think my most grown up moments were when life got difficult. When my baby was in NICU. My first husband was sick. I had three little ones to care for.
Later when I was a single mom I also felt very much a grownup
I would say I don’t make the best grownup person because I struggle with seriousness about most grown up issues, but when the chips are down and I have to, I manage to step up.
You know when they say someone is an old soul? No one ever called me that. If reincarnation is a thing, this might be my first rodeo. I tend to have more questions then answers. I do wonder from time to time why I struggle with day to day grown up tasks, so that’s as good an answer as any.
My favorite is watching people who enjoy being grownup doing grownup things. I admire them. I always hoped to be one. Maybe some day. In the meantime I’m making friends with my particular skill set. Here I’ve always been the opposite of Peter Pan, I want to grow up, but I realize it’s okay if I take my time.
If I had a million dollars to give away, who would I give it to?
What a prompt
If I had an extra million dollars…
Let’s assume I’ve already given my kids and family members all a million or as much as they need, I have more than enough to be comfortable in my life and this is left over and can only be given to someone. Who would that be?
Hmmm
I think I need more time to consider this. I think teaching fishing is better than handing someone a fish. So it would be someone actively engaged in some extremely educational directive. Something that helps people in need to learn how to be successful and self sufficient. Something supportive and helpful on a long term basis.
I imagine this is reality for some wealthy people. There is so much responsibility in giving away that sum of money. In the wrong hands…
It would be super fun to just hand out hundreds to everyone you met in a day or week or month.
What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?
This one might surpass the last one.
Training for my first marathon was life-changing-hard as well. Getting myself into a good college helped my 17 year old self see herself differently at the time.
I think having a big goal is good for me. Picking the hardest one I’ve ever set is hard because after I achieve something, I notice some parts get easier, but then I set the bar higher.
For me, little goals are good. One big goal and many little ones inside of it help drive me forward. I’m not a task master. I don’t demand perfection. I celebrate even the tiniest steps in the right direction. I’m no David Goggins, but I like challenging myself, I’m not sure why.
I know people who are content without goals. I know people who drive themselves toward one giant goal after another. I know people who live everyday driven by their own perfectionism without a bigger goal. I think whatever works for each individual is good.
I’ve spent enough time trying to do things someone else’s way and thinking they were right and I was wrong. Once I gave myself the luxury of being right about myself, and accepted that there are many different versions of right, I gained a new perspective.
When I was young I took a fitness class with a friend. The instructor was this incredibly fit, incredibly disciplined ex- Olympic runner. She had some helpful tips I’m sure, but my friend and I, both busy moms with kids, couldn’t follow her plan, and she couldn’t figure out why. We were all just very different people.
I think as we figure out what works best for ourselves in our own lives, in whatever stage we are in, we will happily get more done and enjoy our accomplishments more. It’s a little hard when you have vocal others who are wanting you to be more like them.
To this I say, do your best to listen to YOU.
You know better than they do. They might not seem to understand that, which is common. Most people think they are right. Which they probably are about themselves. That’s what we need to remember. We are always righter about ourselves than we are about anyone else.
Set goals, don’t set goals, enjoy your day. Be you.
So today I went to yoga and no one else showed up.
I got to know the instructor AND I got to have a private yoga class. Jaylene is a gifted restorative yoga teacher. She is also an artist.
She gave me some good ideas. I didn’t realize that Etsy took care of postage. (they calculate it and send you postage labels). I’ve lost money shipping paintings and books often enough that the thought of all the work and trouble it takes to get my book packed up and shipped, kept me from using my Etsy store front. I’ll be re visiting this now. She also mentioned a teacher training for restorative yoga. Hmmm
I did four hours of yoga yesterday. (Long story). Am I re-aligned yet?
Blanket yoga is all about realigning the spine. I spent three of those hours realigning and one stretching out my facia. I actually feel pretty good.
What is it about yoga that makes me feel good? I’ve wondered about this since I started.
If I could bottle whatever ‘it’’ is and give it to everyone who wanted that feeling of well being, I would.
Mind , body, spirit, it works on all three at once.
I know there are some misconceptions about yoga in general, some are a little stereotypical which does suggest that there is some truth there. (this kept me from trying out yoga for quite awhile) It’s like anything, when you find a good instructor who teaches in a way that you like and that works for your body and your life, it’s golden. But even falling short, yoga can still restore you to yourself. I think that is the point.
Yoga means ‘to yolk’ like when they used to hook an ox to a cart or plough. I see it as making the ox and the plough useful and purposeful. Yoga helps us connect and be of the best use to ourselves and others. That’s my interpretation anyway.
In the process my brain and body feel good. My spirit? The part of me that breathes life into every thing I do? That feels good as well. I think it might be how I manage through my hardest moments. Strengthening these three parts of who I am has proven to be vital self care . I read a book once about what you can do to stay healthy and the one answer that the author repeated over and over was this:
Fortify your terrain.
Hardship comes. Life throws curve balls. No one gets it easy all the time. The very best we can do is be ready with strength of mind, strength in our bodies and strength in our spirit. Whether it’s health, relationship or financial issues, going in strong gives us a fighting chance according the the doctor/author of the book I read. (he was focusing on health). I think strengthening one, strengths another. Im pretty sure science has proven that if you are doing well mentally you will do better physically as well. Even in the middle, not being strong, yoga can build you up. This has been my experience. Not that I don’t get pushed to my limits like everyone, but I give yoga credit for my ability to level out and regulate more consistently.
It’s probably why I keep writing books about breathing and connecting breath to movement. There’s some magic to it and I love the idea of kids growing up knowing the trick. Its a very helpful useful trick.
It is never too early or too late to learn how to calm our own nervous systems. Calm confidence, don’t we all want that for our kiddos and ourselves?
We went to an apple festival. It turned out to be a giant super crowded craft fair. With nothing interesting and comically, no apples. Nothing quaint or charming. So after walking past booth after booth of um..I’m not even sure what, we got back in the car to search for, you guessed it, APPLES.
Oh Autumn. The trees are starting to change. The temperature has dropped. I’m wearing a sweater! This is New England’s signature season and we are all in.
I love the way the color creeps slowly from branch to branch
Our first stop was a cute town called Wethersfield. They were having an event there also, so we decided to go back when we had more time. It was festive, fun and very charming. Gilmore Girls Stars Hollow charming. We left after eating a home cooked breakfast in a diner that was practically Luke’s from the show. Then headed out for what we thought would be the main event of our day. The Southington town Apple Festival
Apples were not featured at this Apple Festival. There were no trees or orchards anywhere to be found. Deep fried Oreos, Twinkies Outback Steak House had a booth. I think I saw kettle corn.
No apples could mean we had something to do on a different day or we might find a place on the way home. More of our adventures exploring , the day was still young.
Googling found us an actual orchard in yet another cute town, but the picking orchard was closed.
Third time was a charm. Fifteen minutes from the house we are staying at, down a long street that looked like someone’s driveway, tucked behind a couple of out of place looking houses, there was a beautiful property with a pond, a barn and apple trees. Beauty for as far as the eye could see. A band was even playing in the barn, they were good! We were offered apple crisp and cider by a welcoming owner.
You couldn’t ask for a more perfect apple picking location. We were the only people picking apples! There was a small local crowd there for the music and maybe the cider. The store part had already picked apples and baked goods (and cider) for sale, but I wanted a little of the walking around (possibly touristy) experience of picking. I was in no mood to try to blend and neither was my east coast born husband, we happily meandered across the pond and all around the orchards. Though he did buy a bag of his favorites and a ginger cookie and some pears.
We walked. We picked . We sampled. We listened to the band. We had fun.
Sometimes , you can plan, sometimes you can’t. I guess sometimes, a little of both can turn out to be just right. I continue to be surprised by this whole particular adventure. Happy Autumn, everyone!
What would you do if you lost all your possessions?
I haven’t lost everything, but I have drastically pared down a number of times. Here is what I’ve leaned. some things you miss and remember fondly. Most things can be replaced, and many things don’t need to be. Life moves on. You change, your life changes, styles change.
I once had the perfect pair of clogs. I wore them out. The soul of one broke, and couldn’t be repaired. If I could buy those same shoes today I would. But clogs have not been part of my life for years. I only started missing them lately because I would like a new pair. If I still had them, they would be shabby and I wouldn’t feel good wearing them. Possessions are a little like this. With the exception of heirlooms.
Some things can’t be replaced. Photographs, your grandmother’s teapot, a piece of furniture built by an ancestor. Vintage Christmas ornaments, a dress you bought on vacation in France… Possessions with memories are the hardest to part with. Lost, they become memories themselves.
But you go on. You buy what you need as you need it. You buy new. You move on. Life doesn’t stop. You actually evolve. There is something liberating about not having to drag so many possessions through my life. Eventually we all die and no one values our stuff like we did. That’s why there are estate sales.
What would I do? I’d start over. I’d be more discerning and use less. I’d decorate differently. I think I’d aim to live differently. More intentionally. more consciously. Simpler.
What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind?
I change my mind. I like the freedom of that. I occasionally change it and then change it back.
I used to run marathons and be a vegetarian. I loved running. I used to think yoga was silly and stretching was a waste of my exercise time. I used to think I had to get my heart rate up and keep it up for as long as I could. I used to think calories were all the same. That fat made you fat. I used to think brown rice was good for me. I used think low fat carbs like brown bread and potatoes were a healthy choices for me. I thought a Cliff bar and an apple was a healthy snack. I thought weight lifting would bulk me up. I thought I would never read on a device…
I’m fickle? I’m learning? I was even raw vegan for awhile, but for me, it wasn’t sustainable. All my sugar and simple carb loves caught up with me. I still say do and eat the way you feel is good for you. Enjoy! I have fond memories of Pure in NYC and peanut butter and local honey on brown bread sandwiches. I have cool memories of marathons and training. I adore a real book. Dessert is delicious! Life is short. Change your mind. Embrace something new. Why not? It’s all good.
Peace Kit 