Apples

Only there weren’t any

We went to an apple festival. It turned out to be a giant super crowded craft fair. With nothing interesting and comically, no apples. Nothing quaint or charming. So after walking past booth after booth of um..I’m not even sure what, we got back in the car to search for, you guessed it, APPLES.

Oh Autumn. The trees are starting to change. The temperature has dropped. I’m wearing a sweater! This is New England’s signature season and we are all in.

I love the way the color creeps slowly from branch to branch

Our first stop was a cute town called Wethersfield. They were having an event there also, so we decided to go back when we had more time. It was festive, fun and very charming. Gilmore Girls Stars Hollow charming. We left after eating a home cooked breakfast in a diner that was practically Luke’s from the show. Then headed out for what we thought would be the main event of our day. The Southington town Apple Festival

Apples were not featured at this Apple Festival. There were no trees or orchards anywhere to be found. Deep fried Oreos, Twinkies Outback Steak House had a booth. I think I saw kettle corn.

No apples could mean we had something to do on a different day or we might find a place on the way home. More of our adventures exploring , the day was still young.

Googling found us an actual orchard in yet another cute town, but the picking orchard was closed.

Third time was a charm. Fifteen minutes from the house we are staying at, down a long street that looked like someone’s driveway, tucked behind a couple of out of place looking houses, there was a beautiful property with a pond, a barn and apple trees. Beauty for as far as the eye could see. A band was even playing in the barn, they were good! We were offered apple crisp and cider by a welcoming owner.

You couldn’t ask for a more perfect apple picking location. We were the only people picking apples! There was a small local crowd there for the music and maybe the cider. The store part had already picked apples and baked goods (and cider) for sale, but I wanted a little of the walking around (possibly touristy) experience of picking. I was in no mood to try to blend and neither was my east coast born husband, we happily meandered across the pond and all around the orchards. Though he did buy a bag of his favorites and a ginger cookie and some pears.

We walked. We picked . We sampled. We listened to the band. We had fun.

Sometimes , you can plan, sometimes you can’t. I guess sometimes, a little of both can turn out to be just right. I continue to be surprised by this whole particular adventure. Happy Autumn, everyone!

What would you do if you lost all your possessions?

I haven’t lost everything, but I have drastically pared down a number of times. Here is what I’ve leaned. some things you miss and remember fondly. Most things can be replaced, and many things don’t need to be. Life moves on. You change, your life changes, styles change.

I once had the perfect pair of clogs. I wore them out. The soul of one broke, and couldn’t be repaired. If I could buy those same shoes today I would. But clogs have not been part of my life for years. I only started missing them lately because I would like a new pair. If I still had them, they would be shabby and I wouldn’t feel good wearing them. Possessions are a little like this. With the exception of heirlooms.

Some things can’t be replaced. Photographs, your grandmother’s teapot, a piece of furniture built by an ancestor. Vintage Christmas ornaments, a dress you bought on vacation in France… Possessions with memories are the hardest to part with. Lost, they become memories themselves.

But you go on. You buy what you need as you need it. You buy new. You move on. Life doesn’t stop. You actually evolve. There is something liberating about not having to drag so many possessions through my life. Eventually we all die and no one values our stuff like we did. That’s why there are estate sales.

What would I do? I’d start over. I’d be more discerning and use less. I’d decorate differently. I think I’d aim to live differently. More intentionally. more consciously. Simpler.

Many topics

What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind?

I change my mind. I like the freedom of that. I occasionally change it and then change it back.

I used to run marathons and be a vegetarian. I loved running. I used to think yoga was silly and stretching was a waste of my exercise time. I used to think I had to get my heart rate up and keep it up for as long as I could. I used to think calories were all the same. That fat made you fat. I used to think brown rice was good for me. I used think low fat carbs like brown bread and potatoes were a healthy choices for me. I thought a Cliff bar and an apple was a healthy snack. I thought weight lifting would bulk me up. I thought I would never read on a device…

I’m fickle? I’m learning? I was even raw vegan for awhile, but for me, it wasn’t sustainable. All my sugar and simple carb loves caught up with me. I still say do and eat the way you feel is good for you. Enjoy! I have fond memories of Pure in NYC and peanut butter and local honey on brown bread sandwiches. I have cool memories of marathons and training. I adore a real book. Dessert is delicious! Life is short. Change your mind. Embrace something new. Why not? It’s all good.

Funny that you ask

Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

Now? Now is definitely me out of place, literally. It might be one of the most out of place feelings I’ve ever felt. The reason, as anyone new anywhere or to anything can tell you, is that everyone else is familiar and at home with all that is new for me right now.

I am in a very non-me situation. In every direction.

At first I was feeling lost and even a little demoralized. I couldn’t even get yoga right! Or set the table or make the bed…Slipping into my in laws life has had me baffled. Everything’ is done a certain way and has been for decades, so it’s a little like going back in time. In some ways sweet, in some ways perplexing. Mostly, I’m getting to know everyone and understanding everything so much better than I might have in another circumstance.

Well over a month later, I’m still not getting the bed making correct. G and I do this together, (I sense that he doesn’t trust me to do it alone and so he should not). After much tugging and smoothing and tucking, this morning he looks at me and says: “I don’t get it, our bed always looked great at home” I laughed, which I do every morning as we struggle, because I can’t help finding it funny. My inability to nail this simple task, I personally think its hilarious. G is not amused. His mom has had to fix it, so we pay extra attention. This seam has to line up with this spot… we are getting better, but…

Here’s a thing about being out of place, you get used to it.

I’m not taking anything personally. Being this far into my life, I know my skill set. I’m through trying to be anything I’m not, so even while being corrected, Ive learned to keep it light. I may figure it out, but honestly, I’m just being polite. I don’t know how to care about some things. Some bed making styles are not me. I’ve never cared where the napkin goes in a place setting and if the dishes come out clean how does it matter if you sort the silverware first or last? I think I took Home Ec, which I was recently asked, but it didn’t seem to make any difference long term. For me anyway.

I googled place settings. My mother had it wrong. My mother. The epitome of home making skill.

Outside of the house I was almost involved in a conversation about acorns falling dangerously out of trees in the wind. Only I had nothing to add. My shake shingle education took a little while before I understood, but I get it now and I love knowing that these shingles are chemical free. I won’t soon forget the blanket yoga learning curve, and truthfully I learned a thing or two about spine alignment.

Being out of step was uncomfortable at first. Remember Elle Woods from Legally Blonde? She had some bumpy moments trying to blend into the East coast scene. If I recall, she didn’t ever blend. Which may have been the point of the movie. Just be yourself. People don’t have to see it from your exact point of view to appreciate you. And visa versa. I love Gs family. I love getting to know them. I love the fond memories from my own childhood that I am reminded of. I enjoy the nostalgia of the old ways.

It’s as though I’m revisiting my childhood, only as a grown up, so I can observe myself not caring, fidgeting, trying to pay attention, finding things a little too funny, and realizing how I haven’t changed.

This adventure is showing me who I am and who I was. And showing me that it’s easy to love and accept everyone, including myself. I just needed some time to get used to me and them and the familiar ways that I may never figure out. (Sorry mom)

All of it is perfect.

Time a Plenty

It all takes longer than I think it’s going to. Isn’t that how it goes? More hours on the computer than I want to admit, but I don’t care, I’m a little closer every day.

It won’t be my vision at this point, but I’m ok with that as well. An easy to download digital copy is good for now. I can keep working to find a way to have an easy access physical book eventually. For now, this is the perfect amount of online tech magic.

I have made some progress in these last five weeks. I think I’ve even enjoyed the time. I have been navigating a lot of different things lately and for whatever reason I seem to be doing okay.

Sure, I’m homesick and I miss my kids and friends terribly, but as far as the day to day, I’m really not sweating the small stuff.

All that rain? Turns out it set records for September, I learned to always take a hooded jacket with me no matter what. Walking in it might look silly, but it beats the gym or sitting at home. Plus we’ve found many cool places on our rainy driving excursions.

I’ve had time to write blogs and research next steps. I’m still quite thoroughly in the thick of it, but as I pause and assess, I would report that the mission is going surprisingly well. There’s a book coming to Amazon cyberspace super soon!

Start of the week, start of the month, tomorrow is already today

What’s your #1 priority tomorrow?

Figuring out what I’m going to do about yoga…

That was the first thing I thought of.

I have been limping along doing the bare minimum. I can’t seem to be home at 1:30 (10:30 California time) consistently to do my west coast yoga on zoom. Maybe that will change. Most yoga here has that rush through poses with weights vibe, or leans to a more heated style flow. Even when I took teacher training and we learned the typical sequence of new teacher trained yoga, I was already moving away from doing it. I prefer the breath to movement core strengthening cues and postures that Trevor’s breathe centric yoga class emphasizes.

My bottom line? I need to keep doing yoga. It’s important. I’ve given up most of my life, but this one thing, I’m keeping.

So until something changes, I’m choosing the little house in Niantic to do in person yoga at. They offer a handful of breath to movement classes, I like the vibe and I have yet to meet the director because she’s been in Bali. There’s potential. It’s one month.

I can decide if I want to keep going at the end of October. My life is so one day at a time lately. I can’t really commit myself to anything. My book and yoga. These are my chosen constants.

I would say that I’m a flexible person. I don’t care about a lot of the things that a lot of people do. I prefer but don’t always insist on what I want or need. I’m working on that, but for now, what I’m sure about is this. I made the decision and it was good.

Yoga does tend to return me to myself. Art does that for me also. I’m enjoying many parts of this East coast adventure. So many impromptu outings and surprising finds. Yesterday we found a family run Oaxacan Mexican restaurant. This after another art fair. Why or how this family came to live in the tiny town of Niantic, I don’t know, but their authentic delicious food made my day!

If I can stay open and regulated, I know I’ll enjoy my life so much more throughly. Practicing yoga has helped me for years, now is not the time to let it go.

Later…

I guess I figured out my answer, I tended to my first priority first, and now I’m ready to get down to work and enjoy the rest of my day.

Here’s how it went: I took some time to get ready, debating while I put on sunscreen and brushed my hair. I arrived early, but not as early as I’d hoped. (maybe I was still debating). The best instructor was subbing for another substitute teacher which was a happy surprise. Emily was as welcoming and lovely as the class she led. Afterward there was an optional breathing meditation class which of course I stayed for. I love when I feel like I made a good choice nearly right away. I walked out into the sunshine like it was a mini movie scene…cue the music.

Niantic Yoga Studio