3 Ps

What principles define how you live?

I’m dedicating this post to my best friend Wendi whose birthday was this month, but who passed away far too soon. I miss her everyday.

She and I bonded over our individual quests to somehow figure out life. We read, we studied, we signed up, we listened. After her diagnosis, when things really didn’t make sense and only bits and pieces of things we’d learned could be applied, she found the Three Principles.

Together we drove up to LA to listen to a guy named Michael Neil. She had researched this and I hadn’t. I came along as her skeptical side kick. We arrived at the same time and met in the parking garage, and even rode the elevator with, the featured speaker, Michael himself. This sort of Seinfeld moment/serendipity was a common Wendi thing. Years later we would all laugh at that first encounter. She said something like, I have your same credentials, I could do what you’re doing. He sort of chuckled in his good natured way and agreed, even though the first part of our conversation was about how we barely understood what these three principles even were.

Wendy did become a trained Three P coach, a good one. Here are the principles:

1) There is an infinite intelligence that runs things. Sun comes up, acorns turn into oak trees, herds get to water holes after they fill with seasonal rain. The day changes every year, but somehow the animals know. There’s an energy and an orchestration and we are all part of it.

2) We have the ability to become aware of ourselves. We can come out of our own thoughts and notice ourselves thinking. I think it’s called being conscious or maybe conscious awareness.

3) Everything is thought. Everything we see or hear or are in any way aware of, started as thought and remains in the category of thought. We experience as thought. Thought is a creative substance from which everything originates

As our day in LA progressed, there was a conflict Wendi was on her phone trying to straighten out. It had to do with one of her kids and it was getting her agitated. That, on top of what sounded like a lot of talking in circles about these elusive principles.

At some point I raised my hand and was answered simply. I somehow let go of my thoughts and I got a tiny glimpse of what they were trying to explain. It was an experience of calm understanding and peace around a topic I had had concerns about for years.

Wendi got nothing. She was still involved in the heated argument with what ever coach and was further angered that she still didn’t know what the 3 Ps even were.

Wendi being Wendi, only doubled down on her study. She went to an island in Washington to learn more. Eventually she earned certification and became really good at helping people through major life events by explaining these principles.

Michael will tell you that the principles aren’t complicated, we all have a knowing of them and like gravity, they just are. I think he’s the one who said it’s like putting a glass of sand and water swirled together down. If it gets a chance to settle, the water like our thoughts will become clear.

I googled ‘principles’ for this prompt question before I remembered. You know that stage babies go through where they drop everything and watch it fall? Experts say they are learning about gravity and trying it out. I might be still in that phase with these

Just like things always fall down (never up), these principles do prove themselves over and over to me. Maybe like the baby I’m still wondering if there might be an exception ? Or sometimes I just forget and have to be re reminded…

Anyway, sorry this is so long. Enjoy your Monday. If you’re curious about these 3 Ps, Michael Neil is on youtube or you can google him.

Monsters?

What have you been putting off doing? Why?

Shall I make a list?

I’ll stick to this one project. I want to find a printer who can print as nice a copy of Beatrix as the printer in California did. Why haven’t I yet? I’m worried.

Will it be expensive? Will I like the quality? Will it be difficult to explain what I want to them? Will they be able to upload it? Will I be able to send the file? I’m just writing randomly here.

I also need to put a new card on Etsy and pay my delinquent twenty cents. ( yes $.20 !) What if someone really bought a book? Would I know what to do? Will I get it in the mail in the right amount of time?

I want to try that Blaze thing. I told myself after I did 20 posts I’d do it, maybe when I write something ‘good’, maybe when my website looks better, maybe when I feel like I know what I’m doing…

I want to add this to Instagram and Facebook. At least I think I do. Do I have thick enough skin? How will I be when people don’t like me or my book and/or both? One time some well meaning person (who I’d known for a long time) wrote in the Facebook comments something about me having no self esteem. Whether or not it was true at the time, I was utterly embarrassed and blocked her. I felt bad but yeah…

Isn’t it always some kind of fear causing me to procrastinate? After writing out what I think I’m afraid of, I see that I can probably talk myself through most of these easily. Nothing is too scary here.

Again this has been a good exercise. I like figuring out this whole thing as I go. Taking a moment to pause and consider what might be in my way has been helpful.

When I was a kid I was afraid there was something scary under my bed. I would stand against the wall on my bed and take a running leap to jump as far across the room away from my bed as I could. I was sure that whatever I was afraid of would try to grab my ankle. One time on my way back to bed after jumping and going to the bathroom, standing inside my doorway planning my leap back onto my bed, I did the unthinkable.

I turned on the light. The switch was right there, I had to reach up, but it was for me, at five, an act of utter defiance and bravery. My parents ran a tight ship. When your light was turned off you were not allowed to turn it on. We had no night lights. If you weren’t sleeping you were pretending to sleep. It was just the way it was. I boldly flipped that switch and walked over to my bed, and LOOKED UNDER IT!

How many long nights did I lie there fearing, waiting until I had no choice but to leap that leap? Maybe I was still four. I don’t remember, but I can clearly picture what was under my bed that night. And more importantly, what was not!

Thanks for helping me sort some things out! Who cares if someone thinks I have no self esteem? I do so? I’ve figured out a lot to get this far. I can trust. I can find a printer. It’s all working out perfectly… is what I’m telling myself today…

Who needs Neverland?

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

Usually I don’t

I think my most grown up moments were when life got difficult. When my baby was in NICU. My first husband was sick. I had three little ones to care for.

Later when I was a single mom I also felt very much a grownup

I would say I don’t make the best grownup person because I struggle with seriousness about most grown up issues, but when the chips are down and I have to, I manage to step up.

You know when they say someone is an old soul? No one ever called me that. If reincarnation is a thing, this might be my first rodeo. I tend to have more questions then answers. I do wonder from time to time why I struggle with day to day grown up tasks, so that’s as good an answer as any.

My favorite is watching people who enjoy being grownup doing grownup things. I admire them. I always hoped to be one. Maybe some day. In the meantime I’m making friends with my particular skill set. Here I’ve always been the opposite of Peter Pan, I want to grow up, but I realize it’s okay if I take my time.

$$$

If I had a million dollars to give away, who would I give it to?

What a prompt

If I had an extra million dollars…

Let’s assume I’ve already given my kids and family members all a million or as much as they need, I have more than enough to be comfortable in my life and this is left over and can only be given to someone. Who would that be?

Hmmm

I think I need more time to consider this. I think teaching fishing is better than handing someone a fish. So it would be someone actively engaged in some extremely educational directive. Something that helps people in need to learn how to be successful and self sufficient. Something supportive and helpful on a long term basis.

I imagine this is reality for some wealthy people. There is so much responsibility in giving away that sum of money. In the wrong hands…

It would be super fun to just hand out hundreds to everyone you met in a day or week or month.

What if…

What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed complete and utter success

I changed the question

I was going to say the lottery., but never considered not winning a failed attempt. is it? If it is then sure, winning is kind of a success..

Or

I would have a solo show in an art museum or prestigious gallery. I would sell out

Or I’d write a best seller

Or I’d start a foundation

Or I’d design shoes, jewelry clothes, yoga mats, kitchens, houses etc

Or I’d open a yoga studio

Maybe This

What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?

This one might surpass the last one.

Training for my first marathon was life-changing-hard as well. Getting myself into a good college helped my 17 year old self see herself differently at the time.

I think having a big goal is good for me. Picking the hardest one I’ve ever set is hard because after I achieve something, I notice some parts get easier, but then I set the bar higher.

For me, little goals are good. One big goal and many little ones inside of it help drive me forward. I’m not a task master. I don’t demand perfection. I celebrate even the tiniest steps in the right direction. I’m no David Goggins, but I like challenging myself, I’m not sure why.

I know people who are content without goals. I know people who drive themselves toward one giant goal after another. I know people who live everyday driven by their own perfectionism without a bigger goal. I think whatever works for each individual is good.

I’ve spent enough time trying to do things someone else’s way and thinking they were right and I was wrong. Once I gave myself the luxury of being right about myself, and accepted that there are many different versions of right, I gained a new perspective.

When I was young I took a fitness class with a friend. The instructor was this incredibly fit, incredibly disciplined ex- Olympic runner. She had some helpful tips I’m sure, but my friend and I, both busy moms with kids, couldn’t follow her plan, and she couldn’t figure out why. We were all just very different people.

I think as we figure out what works best for ourselves in our own lives, in whatever stage we are in, we will happily get more done and enjoy our accomplishments more. It’s a little hard when you have vocal others who are wanting you to be more like them.

To this I say, do your best to listen to YOU.

You know better than they do. They might not seem to understand that, which is common. Most people think they are right. Which they probably are about themselves. That’s what we need to remember. We are always righter about ourselves than we are about anyone else.

Set goals, don’t set goals, enjoy your day. Be you.

Don’t we All

So today I went to yoga and no one else showed up.

I got to know the instructor AND I got to have a private yoga class. Jaylene is a gifted restorative yoga teacher. She is also an artist.

She gave me some good ideas. I didn’t realize that Etsy took care of postage. (they calculate it and send you postage labels). I’ve lost money shipping paintings and books often enough that the thought of all the work and trouble it takes to get my book packed up and shipped, kept me from using my Etsy store front. I’ll be re visiting this now. She also mentioned a teacher training for restorative yoga. Hmmm

I did four hours of yoga yesterday. (Long story). Am I re-aligned yet?

Blanket yoga is all about realigning the spine. I spent three of those hours realigning and one stretching out my facia. I actually feel pretty good.

What is it about yoga that makes me feel good? I’ve wondered about this since I started.

If I could bottle whatever ‘it’’ is and give it to everyone who wanted that feeling of well being, I would.

Mind , body, spirit, it works on all three at once.

I know there are some misconceptions about yoga in general, some are a little stereotypical which does suggest that there is some truth there. (this kept me from trying out yoga for quite awhile) It’s like anything, when you find a good instructor who teaches in a way that you like and that works for your body and your life, it’s golden. But even falling short, yoga can still restore you to yourself. I think that is the point.

Yoga means ‘to yolk’ like when they used to hook an ox to a cart or plough. I see it as making the ox and the plough useful and purposeful. Yoga helps us connect and be of the best use to ourselves and others. That’s my interpretation anyway.

In the process my brain and body feel good. My spirit? The part of me that breathes life into every thing I do? That feels good as well. I think it might be how I manage through my hardest moments. Strengthening these three parts of who I am has proven to be vital self care . I read a book once about what you can do to stay healthy and the one answer that the author repeated over and over was this:

Fortify your terrain.

Hardship comes. Life throws curve balls. No one gets it easy all the time. The very best we can do is be ready with strength of mind, strength in our bodies and strength in our spirit. Whether it’s health, relationship or financial issues, going in strong gives us a fighting chance according the the doctor/author of the book I read. (he was focusing on health). I think strengthening one, strengths another. Im pretty sure science has proven that if you are doing well mentally you will do better physically as well. Even in the middle, not being strong, yoga can build you up. This has been my experience. Not that I don’t get pushed to my limits like everyone, but I give yoga credit for my ability to level out and regulate more consistently.

It’s probably why I keep writing books about breathing and connecting breath to movement. There’s some magic to it and I love the idea of kids growing up knowing the trick. Its a very helpful useful trick.

It is never too early or too late to learn how to calm our own nervous systems. Calm confidence, don’t we all want that for our kiddos and ourselves?

Apples

Only there weren’t any

We went to an apple festival. It turned out to be a giant super crowded craft fair. With nothing interesting and comically, no apples. Nothing quaint or charming. So after walking past booth after booth of um..I’m not even sure what, we got back in the car to search for, you guessed it, APPLES.

Oh Autumn. The trees are starting to change. The temperature has dropped. I’m wearing a sweater! This is New England’s signature season and we are all in.

I love the way the color creeps slowly from branch to branch

Our first stop was a cute town called Wethersfield. They were having an event there also, so we decided to go back when we had more time. It was festive, fun and very charming. Gilmore Girls Stars Hollow charming. We left after eating a home cooked breakfast in a diner that was practically Luke’s from the show. Then headed out for what we thought would be the main event of our day. The Southington town Apple Festival

Apples were not featured at this Apple Festival. There were no trees or orchards anywhere to be found. Deep fried Oreos, Twinkies Outback Steak House had a booth. I think I saw kettle corn.

No apples could mean we had something to do on a different day or we might find a place on the way home. More of our adventures exploring , the day was still young.

Googling found us an actual orchard in yet another cute town, but the picking orchard was closed.

Third time was a charm. Fifteen minutes from the house we are staying at, down a long street that looked like someone’s driveway, tucked behind a couple of out of place looking houses, there was a beautiful property with a pond, a barn and apple trees. Beauty for as far as the eye could see. A band was even playing in the barn, they were good! We were offered apple crisp and cider by a welcoming owner.

You couldn’t ask for a more perfect apple picking location. We were the only people picking apples! There was a small local crowd there for the music and maybe the cider. The store part had already picked apples and baked goods (and cider) for sale, but I wanted a little of the walking around (possibly touristy) experience of picking. I was in no mood to try to blend and neither was my east coast born husband, we happily meandered across the pond and all around the orchards. Though he did buy a bag of his favorites and a ginger cookie and some pears.

We walked. We picked . We sampled. We listened to the band. We had fun.

Sometimes , you can plan, sometimes you can’t. I guess sometimes, a little of both can turn out to be just right. I continue to be surprised by this whole particular adventure. Happy Autumn, everyone!